Robin Williams Quotes - Page 8

Gradual school is where you go to school and you gradually find out you don't want to go to school anymore.

Honey, you [Michael Jackson] gotta pick a race first. All of a sudden you're a black man, then you're Diana Ross, now you're Audrey Hepburn. Then he's got the little beard going on. He's like Lord of the Rings, the entire cast. Michael's about to jump species.

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.

All the new people you meet, it's pretty amazing. The vampire needs new blood. And there is still a lot to learn and there is always great stuff out there. Even mistakes can be wonderful.

Whenever a big white man picks up a banjo, my cheeks tighten.

We Americans, we're a simple people . . . but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.

I feel like I'm a big human snot.

Reality: What a concept!

It's frightening and exhilarating. It's like combat. Look at the metaphors: You kill when it works; you die when it doesn't.

After my training wheels, my first real bike was a Schwinn, and my first time out, I rode down a hill, didn’t know how to stop, and ran right into a tree. So, that was a nice experience ... like realizing, oh, there are brakes!

2020. There'll be cold fusion. We'll actually be able to power our cars with our own feces. That's right. The emissions problem will be a little intense, but just light a match.

People would say I never censor. As Billy Crystal says, 'I don't have that button.'

We're dealing with fundamentalists... the Amish are fundamentalists, but they don't try and hijack a carriage at needlepoint. And, if you're ever in Amish country and you see a man with his hand buried in a horse's ass, that's a mechanic. Remember that.

It doesn't matter who you are, if you've got the legs, you can hang with them.

Even evangelicals realize that Pinocchio's father was a carpenter too. That's the old joke.

A lot of celebrities golf because they want to be away. For them it's a chance to get away and be peaceful. For me it's peaceful to ride [cycling].

I started doing comedy because that was the only stage that I could find. It was the pure idea of being on stage. That was the only thing that interested me, along with learning the craft and working, and just being in productions with people.

Comedy is there to basically show us we fart, we laugh, to make us realize we still are part animal.

If you don't keep pushing the limits, you wake up one day and you're the "center square to block."

I've always improvised, and stand-up was this great release. All of a sudden, it was just me and the audience.

I have no desire to go anywhere near drugs. People say, "Aren't you tempted?" No, because of the ridiculousness of it.

Things that I see in the future. I see... it could be quite incredible if we can master a few problems, like the air and the water thing might be nice. I see governments dissolving these barriers are all falling down for economic reasons. They're all so interbound.

It's five o'clock in the morning. You've just pissed on a dumpster. It's Miller time.

The French don't have a baseball team. And if they did, there'd only be a left field, and no one would be safe.

The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.