Tallulah Bankhead Quotes

Too many of our countrymen rejoice in stupidity, look upon ignorance as a badge of honor. They condemn everything they don't understand.

I think the Republican party should be placed in drydock and have the barnacles scraped off its bottom.

If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.

All my life I've been terrible at remembering people's names. I once introduced a friend of mine as Martini. Her name was actually Olive.

My father warned me about men and booze but he never said anything about women and cocaine.

They aren't making mirrors like they use to.

Fill what is empty, empty what is full, and scratch where it itches.

I'm not childless, darling. I am childfree.

I've tried several varieties of sex. The conventional position makes me claustrophobic, and the others either give me a stiff neck or lockjaw.

Say anything about me, darling, as long as it isn't boring.

Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.

If I were well behaved, I'd die of boredom.

Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don't have time.

Bette [Davis] and I are good friends. There's nothing I wouldn't say to her face - both of them.

I've had a man and I've had a woman, and there's got to be something better.

In my lifetime I've been to bed with men, women, and odd pieces of furniture.

Going down on a woman gives me a stiff neck, going down on a man gives me lockjaw and conventional sex gives me claustrophobia.

I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me.

(On seeing a former lover for the first time in years) I thought I told you to wait in the car.

Whatever you have read I have said is almost certainly untrue, except if it is funny, in which case I definitely said it.

[To the critic who wrote a negative review:] I am sitting in the smallest room of the house. Your review is before me. Soon it will be behind me.

They used to photograph Shirley Temple through gauze. They should photograph me through linoleum.

The less I behave like Whistler's mother the night before, the more I look like her the morning after.

Cocaine isn't habit forming. I should know - I've been using it for years.

I have enemies I've never met - that's fame.