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Terry Pratchett Quotes - Page 27

All Quotes Accidents Adventure Age Arguing Art Atheism Atheist Authority Balance Beer Belief Blame Chaos Character Children Chocolate Choices Coffee Copper Country Crime Darkness Death Dementia Democracy Doubt Dying Effort End Of The World Evil Fate Feelings Fighting Finding Yourself Flying Food Football Fun Funeral Funny Genius Geography Giving Gold Goodbye Growing Up Hate Heart Heaven Hell History Home Horror House Humanity Hurt Husband Ignorance Imagination Inspiration Inspirational Jesus Journey Justice Killing Language Leaving Letting Go Life Life And Death Listening Literature Logic Losing Luck Lying Magic Mankind Manners Memories Military Moon Morning Motivational Mountain Observation Opportunity Pain Past Perspective Philosophy Police Pride Progress Purpose Quality Rain Reading Reality Religion Responsibility Romance Running Safety Sanity School Science Science Fiction Silence Sin Singing Sleep Smoking Son Soul Spring Students Stupidity Style Suffering Sunrise Travel Trust Truth Understanding Universe Violence Waiting Wall War Water Wife Winning Work Out Worry Writing
What's a philosopher?' said Brutha. Someone who's bright enough to find a job with no heavy lifting,' said a voice in his head.

What's a philosopher?' said Brutha. Someone who's bright enough to find a job with no heavy lifting,' said a voice in his head.

Terry Pratchett
Jobs, Voice, Philosopher
"Small Gods". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1992.

No matter what she did with her hair it took about three minutes for it to tangle itself up again, like a garden hosepipe in a shed [Which, no matter how carefully coiled, will always uncoil overnight and tie the lawnmower to the bicycles].

Terry Pratchett
Garden, Hair, Ties

Child. That was a terrible thing to say to anyone who was almost thirteen.

Terry Pratchett
Children, Terrible, Thirteen

However, you do need rules. Driving on the left (or the right or, in parts of Europe, on the left and the right as the mood takes you) is a rule which works, since following it means you're more likely to reach your intended rather than your final destination.

Terry Pratchett
Mean, Europe, Finals

If failure had no penalty success would not be a prize.

Terry Pratchett
Penalties, Ifs, Prize

Nanny's philosophy of life was to do what seemed like a good idea at the time, and do it as hard as possible. It had never let her down.

Terry Pratchett
Philosophy, Philosophical, Ideas
"Maskerade". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1995.

People who are rather more than six feet tall and nearly as broad across the shoulders often have uneventful journeys. People jump out at them from behind rocks then say things like, "Oh. Sorry. I thought you were someone else.

Terry Pratchett
Sorry, Journey, Rocks
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Guards! Guards!: (Discworld Novel 8)”, p.21, Random House

When it's time to stop living, I will certainly make Death my number one choice!

Terry Pratchett
Numbers, Choices
Terry Pratchett (1998). “The Last Continent: A Discworld Novel”, Harpercollins

This was the definition of eternity; it was the space of time devised by the Great God Om to ensure that everyone got the punishment that was due to them.

Terry Pratchett
Punishment, Space, Definitions

Humans can think inhuman thoughts.

Terry Pratchett
Thinking, Humans, Inhuman
Ian Stewart, Jack Cohen, Terry Pratchett (2013). “The Science of Discworld IV: Judgement Day”, p.25, Random House

An Assassin, a real Assassin had to look like one-black clothes, hood, boots, and all. If they could wear any clothes, any disguise, then what could anyone do but spend all day in a small room with a loaded crossbow pointed at the door?

Terry Pratchett
Real, Doors, Small Rooms
Terry Pratchett (2002). “Night watch”, Doubleday UK

One of the highlights of the first Good Omens tour was Neil and I walking through New York singing Shoehorn with Teeth. Well, we'd had a good breakfast. And you don't get mugged, either.

Terry Pratchett
New York, Singing, Teeth

When Mister Safety Catch Is Not On, Mister Crossbow Is Not Your Friend.

Terry Pratchett
Safety, Crossbows
Terry Pratchett (2002). “Night watch”, Doubleday UK

THERE'S NO JUSTICE, said Mort. JUST US.

Terry Pratchett
Justice, Said

Scientists have calculated that the chances of something so patently absurd actually existing are millions to one. But magicians have calculated that million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten.

Terry Pratchett
Good Luck, Science, Magic

Needless to say, they refused to submit to the Empire, conducting such a persistent guerrilla war that the Romans gave up hope of conquering Scotland, and the Wee Free Men remained both wee and free.

Terry Pratchett
War, Men, Scotland
Terry Pratchett, Jacqueline Simpson (2008). “The Folklore of Discworld”, Doubleday UK

There are many horrible sights in the multiverse. Somehow, though, to a soul attuned to the subtle rhythms of a library, there are few worse sights than a hole where a book ought to be.

Terry Pratchett
Book, Sight, Soul
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Guards! Guards!: (Discworld Novel 8)”, p.49, Random House

She was beautiful, but she was beautiful in the way a forest fire was beautiful: something to be admired from a distance, not up close.

Terry Pratchett
Beautiful, Distance, Fire
"Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch (Wednesday)". Book by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, May 1, 1990.

If anyone wants one my advise is to go where the orthodox Jews shop, because when it comes to a big black fedora, the guys with ringlets and long black coats definitely know a stylish hat when they see one. You want to get it home and use a hot steaming kettle, and bob's your uncle - you have a hat with all the right curves!

Terry Pratchett
Uncles, Home, Curves

My idea of a good novel was one you made enough money out of to buy a greenhouse.

Terry Pratchett
Ideas, Enough, Made
Source: bobneilson.org

I wrote three books, I had three greenhouses. It seemed to me to be very satisfactory.

Terry Pratchett
Book, Three, Greenhouses
Source: bobneilson.org

If I knew that I could die, I would live. My life, my death, my choice.

Terry Pratchett
Choices, Living My Life, Dies
Terry Pratchett (2015). “Shaking Hands With Death”, p.20, Random House

We've got a lot of experience of not having any experience

Terry Pratchett
Discworld
Terry Pratchett (2010). “Witches Abroad: (Discworld Novel 12)”, p.52, Random House

A hardback's harder at Christmas time because that's a good hardback buying time.

Terry Pratchett
Christmas Time, Buying, Harder
Source: bobneilson.org

So let's not get frightened when the children read fantasy. It's the compost for a healthy mind. It stimulate s the inquisitive nodes, and there is some evidence that a rich internal fantasy life is as good and necessary for a child as healthy soil is for a plant, for much the same reasons.

Terry Pratchett
Children, Healthy, Mind

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