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Terry Pratchett Quotes - Page 24

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This book had two authors, and they were both the same person.

This book had two authors, and they were both the same person.

Terry Pratchett
Book, Two, Persons
Terry Pratchett (2009). “The Carpet People”, p.11, Random House

Next comes the realist phase ("After all, from a purely geometrical point of view a cat is only a tube with a door at the top.")

Terry Pratchett
Cat, Doors, Views
"The Unadulterated Cat". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1989.

A Thaum is the basic unit of magical strength. It has been universally established as the amount of magic needed to create one small white pigeon or three normal-sized billiard balls.

Terry Pratchett
White, Magic, Three
Terry Pratchett (2012). “The Wit and Wisdom of Discworld”, p.18, Harper Collins

Pets are always a great help in times of stress. And in times of starvation too, o'course.

Terry Pratchett
Stress, Pet, Helping
"Small Gods". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1992.

In my experience, what every true artist wants, really wants, is to be paid.

Terry Pratchett
Artist, Want, Very True

The Kappamaki, a whaling research ship, was currently researching the question: How many whales can you catch in one week?

Terry Pratchett
Funny, Animal, Whales

In her own special category, she was quite beautiful. This was the category of all the women, in his entire life, who had ever thought he was worth smiling at.

Terry Pratchett
Love, Beautiful, Special

The students were staring at her in the manner of those who have heard of the species 'female' but have never expected to get this close to one.

Terry Pratchett
Dating, Romance, Female

It's the end game that people dread and that's what I'm scared of

Terry Pratchett
Alzheimer's, Games, People

The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.

Terry Pratchett
Snakes, Twists, Enchantment
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Lords And Ladies: (Discworld Novel 14)”, p.179, Random House

Fascism may be good at making the trains run on time, but you wouldn't like some of the destinations.

Terry Pratchett
Running, May, Destination

I'm up to my neck in the real world, every day. Just you try doing your VAT return with a head full of goblins.

Terry Pratchett
Real, Imagination, Trying

What do you call those things at the bottom of rivers? Frogs? Stones? Unsuccessful gangsters?

Terry Pratchett
Rivers, Stones, Frogs
Stephen Briggs, Terry Pratchett (2008). “The Wit And Wisdom Of Discworld”, p.44, Random House

I'd like to stand up for the rights of people who put everything on their burger - chutney, mustard, pickle, mustard pickle, tomato sauce... It is common knowledge in my family that I can't tell the difference between a veggie burger and a meat one, because the ratio of burger to pickles is so high.

Terry Pratchett
Rights, Differences, People

There are no inconsistencies in the Discworld books; ocassionally, however, there are alternate pasts.

Terry Pratchett
Book, Past, Discworld

Guilt was the grease in which the wheels of the authority turned.

Terry Pratchett
Grease, Guilt, Wheels
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Small Gods: (Discworld Novel 13)”, p.63, Random House

Most gods find it hard to walk and think at the same time.

Terry Pratchett
Thinking, Discworld, Walks
"Small Gods". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1992.

A world like that, which exists only because the gods enjoy a joke, must be a place where magic can survive. And sex too, of course.

Terry Pratchett
Sex, Magic, World
"Equal Rites". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1987.

... when your name is really and truly Percy Blakeney, pronounced 'Black-knee', and you still have bad acne in your twenties, you accept Pimple as a nickname and are grateful that it wasn't anything worse.

Terry Pratchett
Grateful, Names, Black

It takes forty men with their feet on the ground to keep one man with his head in the air.

Terry Pratchett
Men, Feet, Air
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Small Gods: (Discworld Novel 13)”, p.47, Random House

Mort was hurt by this. It was one thing not to want to marry someone, but quite another to be told they didn't want to marry you.

Terry Pratchett
Hurt, Want, One Thing

Life is just chemicals. A drop here, a drip there, everything's changed. A mere dribble of fermented juices and sudenlly you're going to live another few hours.

Terry Pratchett
Juice, Life Is, Hours
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Guards! Guards!: (Discworld Novel 8)”, p.31, Random House

Another priest said,"Is it true you've said you'll believe in any god whose existence can be proved by logical debate?""Yes."Vimes had a feeling about the immediate future and took a few steps away from Dorfl."But the gods plainly do exist," said a priest."It Is Not Evident."A bolt of lightning lanced down through the clouds and hit Dorfl's helmet. There was a sheet of flame and then a trickling noise. Dorfl's molten armour formed puddles around his white-hot feet."I Don't Call That Much Of An Argument," said Dorfl calmly, from somewhere in the clouds of smoke.

Terry Pratchett
Believe, White, Feet

In the Ramtops village where they dance the real Morris dance, for example, they believe that no-one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away - until the clock he wound up winds down, until the wine she made has finished its ferment, until the crop they planted is harvested. The span of someone's life, they say, is only the core of their actual existence.

Terry Pratchett
Real, Believe, Wine

It looked the sort of book described in library catalogues as 'slightly foxed,' although it would be more honest to admit that it looked as though it had beed badgered, wolved and possibly beared as well.

Terry Pratchett
Book, Library, Would Be
"The Light Fantastic (Discworld, Book 2)". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1986.

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