I see fat kids on the street all the time and I give them free radiohead t-shirts with bullseyes on them. Later when I see them wearing the t-shirts I shoot at them with bb guns while riding a very large dog and singing kicking squealing gucci little piggy over and over
I didn't ask to be Thom Yorke. Thom Yorke asked to be me.
My mother tried to abort me herself with a coathanger, hence my wobbly eye.
Have you ever seen any member of radiohead aside from me in public? Do they interact or 'lift' objects? Holograms, all of them. I created them in 1991 using my massive brainpower. Even pitchforkmedia is a product of my brilliant imagination.
If we replaced all of our guns with chicken sandwiches it would end all war immediately.
My uncle used to sit me on his lap and play "ventriloquist", only I wasn't wearing pants.
Hungry Hungry Hippos is so depressing. You continuously chomp away at those balls and you are alone and it's your birthday.'
I know I'm 38 but I insist that santa claus exists and he raped my mother when I was 9.
Can you imagine a world in which the letter O does not exist? My name would be Thm Yrke. Think about that.
I was abducted by aliens as a boy. Aliens is the name of a pedophile who lived in my alley.
Sometimes I stand in store windows and pretend to be a mannequin. People are like 'hey, that mannequin looks alot like thom yorke' Then I start to sing The Gloaming and lurch toward them and they run off horrified.
I'm not saying my fans are stupid, but I once left a cabbage onstage next to a harmonica and nobody noticed for three hours
If I were to be any celebrity, I'd be Chris Martin. I've always wondered what it would be like to be jealous of Thom Yorke.
I'm horrified of leprechauns. I'm horrified that I might be leprechauns.
The whole point of creating music for me is to give voice to things that aren't normally given voice to.
The hardest part about being in Radiohead is listening to my own music.
My nickname in college was talentless midget who has a lazy eye is missing teeth resembles a shaved troll doll because I'm a talentless midget who has a lazy eye is missing teeth resembles a shaved troll dol
If I were a bottle of wine, my name would be Thom Cork
I often fake my death and then just show up at people's houses. They say 'that's a good one Thom' but I know maybe they don't really think it's a funny joke.
I'm listening to Aphex Twin. That makes me cultured and interesting.
Making music for Radiohead is like going to the bathroom, I'm just going to the bathroom constantly, and millions are watching me go to the bathroom.
I actually saw the loch ness monster when I was 9. She was big as a house. Want to know who the loch ness monster is? It's your obese mother. Burn mother****er
Getting everything you want has nothing to do with anything.
I don't know why people called me Tom. My name is THUMB.
I became a vegan because I'm better than you
