The only thing worse than Radiohead fans is everything else except me
I once got hit with a taser at a concert and everyone thought I was dancing. Now I have to do that dance, at every show for the rest of my life, or admit that a taser can damage the Thom Yorke
Sometimes the nicest thing to do with a guitar is just look at it.
In November I'll be releasing my new solo record, entitled 'Box Of Bees'. There's no music, it's just a box full of live bees. The deluxe edition comes with more bees.
If I was made of chocolate I would melt myself in a car to ruin the interior.
I don't even have children, it's just been an excuse to play jenga and hit softballs in my backyard with a box of laundry detergant wearing baby clothes.
Space Jam is my favorite movie. Don't ask me why, it just is.
I can be very drunk in a club in Oxford on a Monday night and some guy comes up to you and buys you a drink and says that the last record you made changed his life. That means something.
Yes I usually make my kids eat their veggie chops and watch my concerts in dead silence. If they ask to watch spongebob squarepants I usually do something volatile like make them eat a yellow sponge with googly eyes on it. I hit them quite a bit, but then again I blame the condom manufacturing government for forcing me to birth them.
To protest, I stood in the place of a waste receptacle and opened my mouth. That's how I lost my virginity *laughs*
I'm not afraid of computers taking over the world. They're just sitting there. I can hit them with a two by four.
Well, I've been reading a lot about the fifty years since the Second World War, about Western foreign policy and all that. I try not to let it get to me, but sometimes I just think that there's no hope.
Radiohead is overrated. Thom Yorke's solo output, however, is brilliant.
I love listening to music with my mate. We don't do it often, but when we do we'll just sit there and lose our heads in it. Sooner or later he'll start saying something to the effect of "Hey, Thom, can you put in something else now?" but I'll just nod coldly and respond "not just yet". But after awhile, I'll finally budge. And that's when I crack a big smile and take out The Bends and put in Kid A. My friend just sighs and leaves the room, and I can't blame him. He's not ready for that leap yet.
The concept of Kid A? How about the concept of I kick your ****ing ass
The difference between me and Bono is that he's quite happy to go and flatter people to get what he wants and he's very good at it, but I just can't do it. I'd probably end up punching them in the face rather than shaking their hand, so it's best that I stay out of their way. I can't engage with that level of bullshit. Which is a shame, really, and in a way it would help if I could, but I just can't. I admire the fact that Bono can, and can walk away from it smelling of roses.
I think what makes people ill a lot of the time is the belief that your thoughts are concrete and that you're responsible for your thoughts. Whereas actually - the way I see it - your thoughts are what the wind blows through your mind.
We weren't listening to guitar bands, we were thoroughly ashamed of being a guitar band. So we bought loads of keyboards and learned how to use them, and when we got bored we went back to guitars.
There are a lot of things I cannot do, such as eat books and read chicken.
You can't make an egg without frying an egg
I'm glad I escaped the clutches of those evil gnomes... I'm talking, of course, about Puerto Ricans.
I had a dream where my face was a hamburger. What the?
It's not racist if I like the race. But I don't like Asian people.
I bought a blimp just so I could get a bunch of wankers excited over nothing, what did you do with your weekend?
Cigarrettes make you look cool
