Beer Quotes - Page 11

Things don't make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that's something everyone can do.

All men hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, SEX, blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah, BEER.

We have to get families back in the game, get back where Saturday night, everything stops. A case of beer comes out and a bottle of rye and anyone who comes to the house, they better want to watch hockey.

I learned early to drink beer, wine and whiskey. And I think I was about 5 when I first chewed tobacco.

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Give him a fishing lesson and he'll sit in a boat drinking beer every weekend.

I used to drink beer and smoke pot before I played. Now I drink tequila and smoke pot. So it's a little different

Cub fans, by consensus, are the best in baseball. Year after year, in good times and (mostly) bad, they turn out in vociferous numbers, sustaining themselves with a heavenly ichor that combines loyalty, criticism, cheerfulness, durability, rage, beer and hope, in exquisite proportions.

It's the same things your whole life. 'Clean up your room!', 'Stand up straight!', 'Pick up your feet!', 'Take it like a man!', 'Be nice to your sister!', 'Don't mix beer and wine, ever!'. Oh yeah, 'Don't drive on the railroad track!'

A little bit of beer is divine medicine.

No doubt you are as alarmed as I by the tragic decline in America's language skills. If 10 people read the following sentence: Two tanker trucks has just overturned in Alaska, spilling a totel of 10,000 gallons of beer onto a highway. two would find an error in subject-verb agreement, two would find an error in spelling, and six would find a sponge and drive north.

Usability is not everything. If usability engineers designed a nightclub, it would be clean, quiet, brightly lit, with lots of places to sit down, plenty of bartenders, menus written in 18-point sans-serif, and easy-to-find bathrooms. But nobody would be there. They would all be down the street at Coyote Ugly pouring beer on each other.

Our fans would never waste good beer by pouring it on us.

Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer.

Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets.

I put my own d*ck in my mouth. I was 14 and much more flexible at the time. It was soft and required a lot of pulling. I really wanted that case of beer.

I fear the man who drinks water and so remembers this morning what the rest of us said last night

The difference between a drunk and a alcoholic is that a drunk doesn't have to attend all those meetings.

It is not “just beer,” it is a noble and ancient beverage which, like wine, food and television advertising, can be extraordinarily good or unmercifully bad.

Books and beer are the best and worst defense.

Ask any Ferrari, Porsche or Ray-Ban salesperson about their average customer and you will very likely hear that he is not, as the adverts would have us believe, a virile young footballer with shiny hair, a rippling six pack and a trouser pouch like a new punch bag. He is, in fact, a middle-aged bloke wearing more chins than he started life with and carrying the clear evidence of forty years of beer and pies slung across his midriff.

Thirstily he set it to his lips, and as its cool refreshment began to soothe his throat, he thanked Heaven that in a world of much evil there was still so good a thing as ale.

Give an Irishman lager for a month and he's a dead man. An Irishman's stomach is lined with copper, and the beer corrodes it. But whiskey polishes the copper and is the saving of him.

Beer, of course, is actually a depressant, but poor people will never stop hoping otherwise.

Fermentation and civilization are inseparable.

What do Jake 'The Snake' Roberts and a beer bottle have in common? They're both empty from the neck up!