Jerry Lawler Quotes

Helen Hart is the only person I know with an autographed copy of the Bible.

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.

As a baby, Bret Hart was so ugly that they had to put tinted windows on his incubator!

You never really know a woman till you meet her in court.

I'm not embarrassed to be seen with younger women, except when I drop them off at school.

You know what they call a good looking girl in Philadelphia... a tourist.

Panties aren't the greatest thing in the world, but they're next to them.

Koko B. Ware is a crossword wrestler: he enters the ring vertically, and leaves horizontally.

You know how I impress girls at the gym? I do pull ups: I pull up in a Corvette, in a Cadillac, and in a Mercedes.

When you were born and your mom saw your face and your rear end, she said "Oh! Siamesse Twins!"

Being a 3-time Intercontinental champion doesn't make you a great wrestler, just like Larry King having 9 wives don't make him a great husband.

If the Japanese are so smart, why do they eat with sticks?

One man's trash is another man's girlfriend.

The only thing harder than Terry Funk's legs are his arteries.

Jake Robert's wife is real ugly, but according to him that's nothing a six pack and a light switch can't fix.

When David killed Goliath, Mae Young called the cops.

Crash Holly's so short, you can see his feet on his driver's licence photo.

When God said 'Let there be light', Mae Young threw the switch.

I don't know if he needs a tic tac or toilet paper.

What do Jake 'The Snake' Roberts and a beer bottle have in common? They're both empty from the neck up!

The only reason Jake 'The Snake' Roberts doesn't drink and drive anymore is because he is afraid he might hit a bump and spill his drink.

Andy Kaufman's mom wanted a girl, his father wanted a boy, and they were both satisfied!

If at first you don't succeed, see if there is a prize for the losers.

This man can make a horror movie without makeup.

But if I've heard this saying once, I've heard it a thousand times- everything happens for a reason. And possibly it does. I just haven't found the reason that this all happened yet.