Funny Life Quotes - Page 4

It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

Luck is a very thin wire between survival and disaster, and not many people can keep their balance on it.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. -T-Shirt

I'm more financially successful, but it just means the shopping blunders I make are bigger now.

The gods throw the dice and they don't ask whether we want to be in the game or not.

Adventure is nothing but a romantic name for trouble.

When in doubt, ignore and be horribly unimpressed

Remember, no matter how hard your life is right now, it would be worse if a song by Chicago was playing.

These things sneak up on him for no reason, these flashes of irrational happiness. It's probably a vitamin deficiency.

Life is funny. Life isn’t categorized into comedy, drama, action, is it?So I don’t know why they try to categorize everything. It drives me crazy-why it would have to be just a romantic comedy or…I want to have a little integrity, a little story, you know

The word “future” and females is a dangerous combination.

Life isn't a cabaret. It's a dive bar.

I think all good drama is funny. All the best drama is ultimately very funny. Life is funny. You can't have any honest treatise on life without bumping into some humor.

Darling, when things go wrong in life, you lift your chin, put on a ravishing smile, mix yourself a little cocktail.

It was almost funny. Life seemed downright accidental in its brevity, and death a punch line to a lousy joke.

A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.

When asked "If you could meet any famous person living or dead," I always ask whether the dead person would be alive again when I meet them.

If I can sell tickets to my movies like Red Sonja or Last Action Hero, you know I can sell just about anything.

He has a heart of gold - only harder.