Redneck Quotes - Page 4

If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck

You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.

Elvis was, at least the times I was around him, Elvis was a practical joker. He was always, had some little mischievous something going.

When I get married, it'll be no secret.

I don’t know any redneck that’s not into fun. That’s their middle name: Red-Fun-Neck.

It’s just what they are — they’re jokes…most jokes are about Jewish people, rednecks, black folks…I can’t determine what offends another person.

I think Elvis loved his fans - I think that's why they loved him and still love him. Fans are very conscious and sensitive to the fact that performers love them.

I was out on the golf course, a guy came riding out in a golf cart and said, Did you know that Elvis died? And I just said, Well, there you go. It was like I had kinda been expecting it.

I didn't have a lot of communication with Elvis. You had to go through a barricade to get to Elvis. It was people hanging on every word, and I felt very uncomfortable a lot of times.

You can take Elvis. You can take Marilyn Monroe. Success and fame will not be the answer if something inside of you is bothering you, if things in your mind aren't going right.

They [Christian rednecks] were so stupid that they couldn't pour piss out of a boot even if the instructions were printed on the bottom.

You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!

You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?

You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

You might be a redneck if Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.

You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.

You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.

You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.

You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.