Witty Quotes - Page 44

I read the book of Job last night, I don't think God comes out well in it.

Old Madame du Deffand and her friends talked for fifty years without stopping. And of it all, what remains? Perhaps three witty sayings. So that we are at liberty to suppose either that nothing was said, or that nothing witty was said, or that the fraction of three witty sayings lasted eighteen thousand two hundred and fifty nights, which does not leave a liberal allowance of wit for any one of them.

The history of most women is hidden either by silence, or by flourishes and ornaments that amount to silence.

I think serial monogamy says it all.

Lesson learned? When people say, "You really, really must" do something, it means you don't really have to. No one ever says, "You really, really must deliver the baby during labor." When it's true, it doesn't need to be said.

It will never be perfect, but perfect is overrated. Perfect is boring on live TV.

Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.

People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.

Yes it's going really well. We are planning on having a baby together.

I'm not bisexual, I'm tri-sexual. I try everything

Yeah, I treat all my heroines like children now. I pick them up, I cuddle them, I call them baby.

When will you start asking different questions? Better questions?

Let's bring it up to date with some snappy nineteenth century dialogue.

I don't care if it doesn't make a nickel. I just want every man, woman, and child in America to see it.

Don't worry about the war. It's all over but the shooting.

Don't improve it into a flop!

Modern dancing is old fashioned.

I paid too much for it, but it's worth it.

"Yes, but that's our strongest weak point."

My childhood was lonely. Both my parents were away a lot, working, and the maid basically raised me. And I think that's where a lot of my comedy comes from. Not only was the maid very funny and witty, but when my mother came home I'd use humour to try and get her attention. If I made mommy laugh, then maybe everything would be all right. I think that's where it [my comedy] all started.

Hell is a half-filled auditorium.

No man should travel until he has learned the language of the country he visits. Otherwise he voluntarily makes himself a great baby - so helpless and so ridiculous.

Bishop was all done with the witty converstaion. "Will you swear?" And Myrnin said, shockingly, "I will." And he proceeded to, a string of swearwords that made Claire blink. He ended with, "--frothy fool-born apple-john! Cheater of vandals and defiler of dead dogs!" and did another twirl and bow. He looked up with a red, red grin that was more like a leer. "Is that what you meant, my lord?

I wish I had the nerve not to tip.

Now it's virtually impossible to write a game that successfully provides challenge and frustration, and that's a shame. We are going to lose something that makes scientists, that makes doers, that makes hard-minded, witty, clever people, and I worry that those people aren't being made these days.