Witty Quotes - Page 42

The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the telling;the comic and the witty story upon the matter.

By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.

I fear nothing so much as a man who is witty all day long.

I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.

If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth

I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights

I would be a liar if I said I don't care [about my appearance]; yes, I care. I found it very difficult, when I first became well known, to read criticism about how I look, how messy my hair was, and how generally unkempt I look. The nastiest thing ever written was written by a man, and I do remember that. I wasn't looking for it either, it was just simply in the newspaper I was reading.

If it's a good book, anyone will read it. I'm totally unashamed about still reading things I loved in my childhood.

You may be witty, but not satirical.

If I am not worth the wooing, I surely am not worth the winning!

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.

Remorse presupposes enough self-forgetfulness to feel the pain ofothers.

Our sweetest hopes rise blooming. And then again are gone, They bloom and fade alternate, And so it goes rolling on. I know it, and it troubles My life, my love, my rest, My heart is wise and witty, And it bleeds within my breast.

John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.

My plans are still in embryo, a town on the edge of wishful thinking.

Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!

If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.

Logic is in the eye of the logician.

Laugh not too much; the witty man laughs least: For wit is news only to ignorance. Lesse at thine own things laugh; lest in the jest Thy person share, and the conceit advance.

People who can't be witty exert themselves to be devout and affectionate.

Every habit makes our hand more witty and our wit less handy.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man.

Make the most of What you have, When you have it, Where you are.