Bill Cosby Quotes - Page 10

You are not going to 'go forth.' You are going to take that damn hat off and you're going to get a job.

Our children are angry. The profanity is out in the street. It's on the buses and in the subway. Our children are trying to tell us something, and we are not listening.

And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl.

Racial humor was about 35% of my act when I first started. But I realized that it was a crutch. What brought it home was when another comedian said to me, 'If you changed color tomorrow, you wouldn't have any material.' He meant it as a put-down, but I took it as a challenge.

Now, Richard Pryor was unique. Many misunderstood his humor. He lit up the hallway, but they didn't understand his use of profanity. He didn't use it just to be using it; he used it in the context of his satire.

I'm a Christian. But Muslims are misunderstood. Intentionally misunderstood. We should all be more like them.

A father has to do everything in his power to keep a tight ship, even though he knows the crew would like to send him away in a dinghy.

The first-born in every family is always dreaming for an imaginary older brother or sister who will look out for them.

The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.

You know my father's favorite game? Come here and pull my finger.

What's your name again? That's right. I'm so glad you know your name.

College was a wonderful time - except, of course, when it was trying to teach you things.

I'm not sure if my parents had me because they loved me, or because they wanted someone to watch their other children.

What best defines a child is the total inability to receive information from anything not plugged in.

I'm not the healthiest, but I am healthy. I'm healthy to the point where there are things that I have to eat that I don't want to eat, but I eat it because I'm enjoying staying alive.

How long can you tread water?

I don't have a problem believing in God and Jesus. But in Genesis one has to wonder about these sentences that just go on and end without finishing. The thought is unfinished. Where did Adam go? What is he doing? Hello? There has to be some pages missing.

My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.

I cannot understand how the education of this United States of America has been fooled time and time again. Either make it separate but equal or integrate, therefore it will be equal. And it has been separate and unequal.

A sail boat that sails backwards can never see the sun rise.

You people are not prepared. You are well educated and you look cute, but that's not going to cut it.

I said to a guy, "Tell me, what is it about cocaine that makes it so wonderful," and he said, "Because it intensifies your personality." I said, "Yes, but what if you're an asshole?"

When the child is twelve, your wife buys her a splendidly silly article of clothing called a training bra. To train what? I never had a training jock. And believe me, when I played football, I could have used a training jock more than any twelve-year-old needs a training bra.

Anecdote: In a controversial way, Comedian and actor Bill Cosby sought to teach his son the pain of being lied to. Convinced his son had been dishonest regarding an issue, Cosby promised that if he told him the truth, he would not hit him. When his son did confess, Cosby did hit him. Seeing his son's shock and hurt, Cosby said he hoped this lesson had deepened his understanding of the anguish generated by a sense betrayal.

Most fathers and... Mothers. Only your grandmother and Ghengis Khan know how to do it.