Bill Cosby Quotes - Page 7

If you speak your mind and if it is true what you're saying, then I think the integrity of what you're saying carries through.

Guys standing around and talking about Spanish fly: 'You know anything about Spanish fly?' 'No, tell me about it.' Well there's this girl Crazy Mary, you put some in her drink man, she, 'Haaaaaaaaaaaaah.' Oh yeah, that's really groovy man, Spanish fly is groovy, yeah. From then on, any time you see a girl: 'Wish I had some Spanish fly.' Go to a party see five girls standing alone: 'Boy if I had a whole jug of Spanish fly, I'd light that corner up over there. HAAAAAAH.'

Children today know more about sex than I or my father did.

Grandparents are God's gifts to children.

You are more important to yourself than you think you are.

If the audience knows you can be funny when you want to be, they will be willing to wait for that payoff.

Dentists tell you not to pick your teeth with any sharp metal object. Then you sit in their chair and the first thing they grab is an iron hook.

People say "God will find a way." God can't find a way if you're in the way.

"And tired" always followed sick. Worst beating I ever got in my life, my mother said, "I am just sick..." And I said, "And tired." I don't remember anything after that.

When you graduate from college, they tell you to follow your dreams. Does anyone say you have to wake up first?

We’ve got to get the gun out of the hands of people who are supposed to be on neighborhood watch.

Fatherhood is asking your son to make up a name rather than tell anybody who he is.

If you have no faith, you've lost your battle.

I don't have a clue about the way to achievement, however the way to disappointment is attempting to please everyone.

I'm going out... because I deserve to go out! And I'm going to get drunk... because I deserve to get drunk! And get out of my way!

It's more blessed to give than to receive - especially kittens.

Well, I really don't know what the secret of success is but I can tell you that the secret of failure is to try to please everyone.

I often try to tell kids to think about all the people who love you, don't cry over the one person who doesn't.

Suddenly, this romantic agony was enriched by a less romantic one: I had to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, I couldn't let her know about this urge, for great lovers never did such things. The answer to "Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?" was not "In the men's room, Julie.

As a comedian, I can walk out in front of 5000 people and not worry about a thing. Not a thing, believe me. But to stand up a face a camera and crew of maybe 15 guys and get up tight about it - to me that's weird.

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

My wife was a beautiful woman before we had children.

In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck - and, of course, courage.

There are stories in the Bible about people telling other people how to do things. When you hear this young man say "we don't give up," that's something human beings who win will tell you every time. Breaks will happen. When they happen, you keep the same mind about what you're doing. It's about we the people getting on with our lives and doing it that way.

My latest blood test said my cholesterol was very high and my doctor recommended some medicine for it. I said "no" to his recommendation and he said "what are you going to do?" I said I ate my way into this and I'm going to eat my way out of it.