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Bill Maher Quotes - Page 12

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I am so tired of rearranging my life around what the stupidest people might do.

I am so tired of rearranging my life around what the stupidest people might do.

Tired, People, Might

"Bill Maher: The Golden Goose Special". TV Movie, 1997.

There's no greater model, in my view, than Jesus Christ.

Jesus, Views, Christ

"Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

The New York Times - but the whole country gives it that weight. It's like the Asian kid in math class. Everybody in the media cheats off The New York Times.

Country, New York, Kids

Do you think it's possible that when we're on something like marijuana or mushrooms and we believe we're having a really spiritual experience that we're just high?

Spiritual, Believe, Marijuana

"Religulous". www.imdb.com. 2008.

Hillary Clinton and Nancy Reagan have a lot in common - they're both smarter than their husbands and both consulted the stars for guidance, Nancy with astrology and Hillary with Barbra Streisand.

Stars, Husband, Astrology

Bill Maher (1996). “Does Anybody Have a Problem with That?: Politically Incorrect's Greatest Hits”, Villard Books

If there is such a thing as karma, let's hope that Sarah Palin comes back as a wolf being shot at from a plane.

Karma, Shots, Planes

"Real Time with Bill Maher", October 17, 2008.

Stupidity is not another form of knowledge.

Stupidity, Form

I don't want my president to be a TV star. You don't have to be on television every minute of every day - you're the president, not a rerun of 'Law & Order'. TV stars are too worried bout being popular and too concerned about being renewed.

Stars, Order, Law

A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid.

Stupid, People, Realizing

They say that Japan's rigorous building codes and regulations saved thousands of lives over there. Or, as Republicans here saw it, it 'fostered a socialist, anti-business environment that's worse than being dead.'

Japan, Regulation, Saws

I think the funniest stuff comes from the heaviest stuff.

Thinking, Stuff

You can't claim you're for peace if you're not willing to disturb it.

Claims, Willing, Ifs

When sex is good theres nothing better, when its bad its not bad.

Sex

I have two questions about Arnold Schwarzenegger. What does he know, and when will he know it?

Two, Doe, Schwarzenegger

"We can all stop laughing on Wednesday, but for now, here's a sampling of recall election humor, part deux, from the nation's wags" by James Sullivan, www.sfgate.com. October 02, 2003.

We've been on a long break and I've just been kicking back, doing nothing. Like our government.

Government, Kicking Back, Long

Republicans look to find the future and they find radio.

Looks, Radio, Republican

I couldn't run for any office. I think that religion is bad, weed is good, and babies are disgusting; who would vote for me?

Running, Weed, Baby

If the Hamas people had the opportunity, they would kill the maximum number of Israelis, which would be all. And, Israel has the opportunity to kill way more, and they do not.

Opportunity, Israel, Maximum Number

I would describe my spirituality as exactly the opposite of having a religious affiliation.

Religious, Opposites, Spirit

Bush the younger has two things going for him that his father never had. One: an easy charm with regular people and two: the power to make them disappear without a trial.

Father, Two, People

I kid the Republicans, with love. I feel bad for them. They got nobody for next time. Who are they gonna run? Sarah Palin, reading off her hand. Did you see that? You saw this? She wrote "tax cuts" on her hand. A Republican so stupid she has to be reminded of the one thing - Tax cuts! This is like if you saw the coyote's paw and it said "Road Runner".

Running, Stupid, Reading

"Bill Maher... But I'm Not Wrong". Documentary, Comedy, 2010.

People who don't like you almost never come up to you. That's a lot of years of saying things that I know a lot of people in this country hate me for. And the number of times someone has come up to me and said something negative, I could count on one hand.

Country, Hate, Hands

Source: movieweb.com

Sometimes I'm dragging my ass out to the airport at 8 a.m. on a Saturday and I'm wondering why I'm doing this, but once I walk on stage I know why...because I'm addicted.

Airports, Sometimes, Wonder

Source: www.tucsonweekly.com

I'd like to protect children, too, but... is everything worth sacrificing to that? I mean, drugs have done a lot of good... They've midwived a lot of good ideas... lot of great songs, you know? I think "Penny Lane" is worth 10 dead kids... I think Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. There, I said it.

Song, Children, Mean

"Bill Maher: I'm Swiss". Documentary, Comedy, 2005.

Because of the Republicans, I'm not ashamed of being an American. I'm embarrassed!

Republican, Ashamed, Embarrassed

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