Authors:

A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
T
U
V
W
X
Y
Z

Bill Maher Quotes - Page 9

All Quotes Abortion Abstinence Age Army Art Atheism Atheist Belief Birth Bullshit Cancer Character Children Chocolate Choices Christ Church Coffee College Comedy Communion Country Culture Debate Democracy Doubt Evil Feelings Fighting Fun Funny Giving Hate Health Care Heaven Hell Home House Human Nature Hurt Internet Jesus Justice Killing Kissing Leaving Lying Magic Mankind Military Moon Office Opportunity Pain Palin Past Police Politics Pope Pot Racism Rage Rain Reading Reality Religion Responsibility Running Sacrifice School Selling Shame Sin Sleep Smoking Sports Stupidity Tea Team Today Violence Virtue Voting Wall War Weed Wife Winning Worry

A Republican Congressman, Rep. Chris Lee, was caught flirting with a woman trolling for dates on Craigslist and sent her a shirtless photo of himself. He lied about his age and his marital status. He said he was 39 and

A Republican Congressman, Rep. Chris Lee, was caught flirting with a woman trolling for dates on Craigslist and sent her a shirtless photo of himself. He lied about his age and his marital status. He said he was 39 and divorced. He's 46 and married, though being a Republican congressman, I'm guessing he's really 60 and gay.

Gay, Flirting, Age

If you belonged to a political party or a social club that was tied to as much bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, violence, and sheer ignorance as religion is, you'd resign in protest. To do otherwise is to be an enabler, a mafia wife.

Party, Ignorance, Wife

"Religulous". www.imdb.com. 2008.

Greed can overtake smart.

Smart, Greed

The NYPD must stop acting like the only thing black people do is run from them and shoot at them. Believe it or not there are some black New Yorkers who won't run and can't shoot -- they're called the #‎ Knicks .

Running, Believe, People

Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids.

Kids, Gay, Law

Bill Maher (2006). “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer”, p.158, Rodale

I don't understand why the police are infallible. They remind me a lot of the Catholic Church.

Catholic, Police, Church

Ninety percent of people support background checks. Which means even people who can't pass a background check support background checks.

Mean, People, Support

Jesus, as a philosopher is wonderful. There's no greater role model, in my view, than Jesus Christ. It's just a shame that most of the people who follow him and call themselves Christians act nothing like him.

Christian, Jesus, Views

"Did CBS Censor Bill Maher?". "The O'Reilly Factor" with Bill O'Reilly, www.foxnews.com. September 26, 2006.

The only way for mankind to survive is for religion to die.

Way, Mankind, Dies

The "Power of One" is a slogan--not a goal.

Goal, Power Of One, Slogans

The First Amendment was specifically designed for citizens to insult politicians. Libel laws were written to protect law students speaking out on political issues from getting called whores by Oxycontin addicts.

Law, Oxycontin, Issues

"Four Questions for Bill Maher". "Good Morning America" with Jake Tapper, www.yahoo.com. March 15, 2012.

Republicans don't have to accept evolution, economics, climatology, or human sexuality, but I just watched a week of their national convention, and I need them to admit the historical existence of George W. Bush. If your party can run the nation for eight years and then have a national convention and not invite Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Colin Powell, Karl Rove, or Tom DeLay, you're not a political movement, you're the witness protection program.

Running, Party, Years

A new biography came out that says that in high school Obama was a huge pothead … Mitt Romney had to respond to this and said, ‘It is appalling that Obama spent his teenage years goofing around and smoking pot when he should have been pinning down gay kids and cutting their hair.

Teenage, School, Kids

I have always defined political correctness as an elevation of sensitivity over truth.

Political, Sensitivity, Correctness

The Drug War is an addiction, really.

War, Addiction, Drug

The key to me, in religion, is just to treat it like it doesn't really matter. We have a Pope, we don't really believe him, we don't really listen to what he says, we don't really take him seriously. That's what has to happen with religion. It has to be marginalized and in the Islamic world, it's not marginalized, it's taken literally.

Taken, Islamic, Believe

"Bill Maher Gets Ridiculous with Religulous". Interview with Brian Gallagher, movieweb.com. February 16, 2009.

Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.

Ideas, Littles, Pants

Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the 'will of the people' goes out the window.

Suicide, Weed, Gay

I think there is a problem, though, with the media gushing over [Obama] too much. I don't think he thinks that he's all that, but the media does. I mean, the coverage after, that I was watching, from MSNBC, I mean these guys were ready to have sex with him.It's embarrassing.

Sex, Mean, Thinking

As a comedian, I think we all look for those areas where the truth diverts from what people are saying. That's why politics is such a rich area for us, because politicians make promises, and they don't keep them, and when we point out the difference, we get the laugh.

Thinking, Differences, People

Interview with David Steinberg, www.interviewmagazine.com. November 30, 2008.

We had a national tragedy this week, and the President of the United States and Sarah Palin both made speeches on the same day. Obama came out against lunatics with guns, she gave the rebuttal.

Gun, Tragedy, President

Hollywood isn't your cesspool, America. It's your mirror.

Mirrors, America, Hollywood

Bill Maher (2006). “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer”, p.105, Rodale

Who takes care of their people better? FEMA or Hezbollah?

People, Hezbollah, Care

I do miss George Bush. Compared to these teabaggers and the people who are pandering to them, he looks like a professor.

People, Missing, Looks

The thing I don't understand about homosexuals is, how do they decide which one is the one who's supposed to pretend they don't want it?

Want, Homosexual

"Bill Maher: The Golden Goose Special". TV Movie, 1997.

You May Also Like: