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Bill Maher Quotes - Page 11

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In today's Republican Party, there's a term for people who hate charity and love killing: 'Christian.'

In today's Republican Party, there's a term for people who hate charity and love killing: 'Christian.'

Christian, Hate, Party

"Maher: Christians Are 'People Who Hate Charity And Love Killing'". www.realclearpolitics.com. September 17, 2011.

It could be anything. It could be Jesus and it could be the Furby and it could be the lint that lives in my navel, but it's probably not. Whatever it is, I doubt we as humans on Earth could have any perception of it while we're here. So, why give yourself a headache thinking about it. Just be a good person. That's what an ethicist is.

Jesus, Thinking, Giving

"Bill Maher Gets Ridiculous with Religulous". Interview with Brian Gallagher, movieweb.com. February 16, 2009.

Germs do not have a political party.

Party, Political, Germs

My policy is I am always more than happy to say, "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings." What I am not willing to do is take back what I said. Unless I am wrong.

Hurt, Sorry, Feelings

Interview with Elizabeth Gettelman, www.motherjones.com. September 2008.

It was quite a sight to see Obama next to President Hu. Obama has a Nobel Peace Prize in his basement, and Hu has a Nobel Peace Prize winner in his.

Sight, President, Next

I don't think all life is precious. I know people say that all the time, "Life is precious." I think some life is precious, and some life is just a waste of protoplasm. Start over.

Thinking, People, Starting Over

Interview with Elizabeth Gettelman, www.motherjones.com. September 2008.

Nowas you all know, this week, Pope Benedict told Vatican Radio—you know, Vatican Radio, playing the hits from the 8th century, 9th century and today—Benedict told them he was going to resign because the Church needs a fresh, young face, somewhere other than a priest's lap.

Church, Needs, Lap

This is my question for conservatives: don't you want to live, too?

Want

In New York, Catholic groups have forced an art gallery to shut down an exhibition of a six-foot image of Jesus in chocolate. So, the Archbishop of New York was very upset. He said, 'It is appalling to make Jesus out of food! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go bake some communion wafers.'

Jesus, Art, Atheist

How come regional pandering only works in one direction, right? You never see a Southern politician trying to win votes in New York State by saying, 'I read books and make a mean vegan meatloaf.'

New York, Book, Mean

You know, we do a lot of complaining here in America. And that itself is something they can't do in a lot of other countries.

Country, America, Complaining

'The Lorax,'...it's a mythical, woodland creature, right, who's for saving trees. He speaks for the trees because no one else can. Kind of the way conservatives speak for fetuses.

Tree, Fetus, Saving

Ronald Reagan came from show business. His idea of how the government should help the homeless was like your agent. "We'll try to get you work. But don't bug us about it."

Funny, Government, Ideas

Not a lot of people know about Tunisia. Sarah Palin thinks it's the name of one of Obama's kids.

Kids, Thinking, Names

People like the Mormons and the Scientologists, who I think should combine and make a Mormontologist because what they believe is just so out there it's just laughable.

Believe, Thinking, People

"Bill Maher Gets Ridiculous with Religulous". Interview with Brian Gallagher, movieweb.com. February 16, 2009.

We don't do sensible things. This is America.

America, Sensible

[The Republicans] are always asking the Muslims to denounce their extremists. And I agree with them. But they don't take that note and do it among their own. They don't denounce their own extremists.

Asking, Republican, Notes

New Rule: Someone has to tell Francesco Schettino that embracing a callous policy of "every man for himself" doesn't make you a sea captain. It makes you the Republican nominee.

Men, Sea, Captains

Guys you have way too much invested in sport. Guys you are not the tenth man. You're a machine for turning beer into piss that's what you are!

Sports, Beer, Men

If I thought the Lord was speaking to me I'd check myself into Bellevue, and I think you should too.

Thinking, Lord, Checks

"Larry King Live", August 11, 2005.

Ebola has arrived in New York City. And I say, 'if it can make it there...it can make it anywhere!'

New York, Ebola, Cities

New Rule: All Fox News employees must now refer to President Bush as "my liege". If they are going to treat President Bush like he's an infallible king, they need to start addressing him as if he was an infallible king. And they can do this by addressing him as "my liege".

Kings, President, Needs

Religion is defined as belief in and worship of a controlling power and atheism is precisely not that.

Religion, Atheism, Belief

God makes trees, he doesn't write books.

Book, Writing, Tree

Love does not conquer all.

Love, Doe, Conquer

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