Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?
Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.
Not sure how I feel about reality. I'm going to begin purchasing stuffed animals and endowing them with the qualities people in my life lack.
I'd spend more time with you if you were less like you.
Headphone aren't big enough these days. Why not just throw a couple of stereo speakers in a full face motorcycle helmet.
One day I'd like to beat you at your own game, but your game is badmitton so that will probably never happen.
If you carry a paperback book in your back pocket, but spend more time on your hair than you do reading it, you're probably a bad actor.
Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.
I've decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood.
Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.
If procrastination were a marketable skill, I'd be a real hot commodity.
Everybody wants to be more wanted, until they are.
If you spend a lot of time shopping for athletic clothes, you may want to consider spending less time thinking about high school.
The good things in life are free, except for health care, and electricity.
It's a shame that physical beauty often has such a negative effect on its occupant.
Was thinking of taking a yoga class, then realized I wasn't gay. Whew. Close one.
The man I want to be could easily beat me up.
Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem?
Do you love me for me?... I don't even love me for me.
The Nazis were well dressed. Today's racists are a rag-tag bunch with no sense of style or panache.
Monogamy is god's way of making death seem like a more reasonable option.
Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.
If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.
Dating is great unless you don't like horrible awkwardness, lying, and a deep foreboding sense of disappointment that never goes away.
Mirrors at the gym only serve to remind me that I'm less of a man than I'd like to be.
