Joan Rivers Quotes about Parenting

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My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Shelia had died at birth.

My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, "Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia?" Shelia had died at birth.

Joan Rivers

Cousin, Parenting, Motherhood

My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller.

Joan Rivers

Memories, Parenting, Motherhood

Joan Rivers (2012). “I Hate Everyone...Starting with Me”, p.13, Penguin

Both of my parents got to see me host Carson, thank God. That's all anyone wants: to have their parents see they're going to be all right in life.

Joan Rivers

Parenting, Motherhood, Thank God

And since we're all adults here, let's be brutally honest-most babies are not actually attractive. In fact, they're weird and freakish looking. A large percentage of them are squinty-eyed and bald and their faces are all mushed toegther, kind of like Renee Zellweger pushed up against a glass window.

Joan Rivers

Baby, Parenting, Motherhood

Joan Rivers (2012). “I Hate Everyone...Starting with Me Deluxe”, p.19, Penguin