Josh Billings Quotes - Page 6

There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins.

I hold that a man has as much right to spell a word as it is pronounced as he has to pronounce it the way it ain't spelled.

Wise men have but few confidants, and cunning ones none.

Satire that is seasonable and just is often more effectual than law or gospel.

About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is this, the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it.

As in a game ov cards, so in the game ov life, we must play what is dealt tew us, and the glory consists, not so mutch in winning, as in playing a poor hand well.

The very thing that men think they have got the most of, they have got the least of; and that is judgment.

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout.

Man isn't a fool for his ignorance, but rather for believing things that are wrong.

Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.

Don't put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.

You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

Prejudice assumes the garb of reason, but the cheat is too thin.

Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.

A good place to visit, but a poor place to stay.

When a man makes up his mind to become a rascal, he should examine himself closely and see if he isn't better constructed for a fool.

Lying is like trying to hide in a fog: If you move about you're in danger of bumping your head against the truth, and as soon as the fog blows off, you are gone anyhow.

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

The happiest time in any man's life is when he is in red-hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it.

It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient.

When I see a man of shallow understanding extravagantly clothed, I feel sorry - for the clothes.

Debt is a trap which man sets and baits himself, and then deliberately gets into.

Nature makes all the noblemen; wealth, education, or pedigree never made one yet.

A good reliable set of bowels is worth more to a man than any quantity of brains.

Everybody in this world wants watching, but nobody more than ourselves.