Josh Billings Quotes - Page 9

When good-natured people leave us we look forward with extra pleasure to their return.

It ain't no disgrace for a man to fall, but to lie there and grunt is.

A secret ceases to be a secret if it is once confided - it is like a dollar bill, once broken, it is never a dollar again.

A man cannot learn to be wise any more than he can learn to be handsome.

We have some writers so abstruse and deep that they drown themselves in their fathomless sentences.

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.

Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.

You can reach stupidity only with a cannon ball.

Fools carry their daggers in their open mouths.

The best condition in life is to be not so rich as to be envied nor so poor as to be damned.

Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.

Pity costs nothing, and it ain't worth nothing.

Successful writers learn at last what they should learn at first,--to be intelligently simple.

It is not much trouble to doctor sick folks, but to doctor healthy ones is troublesome.

Building air castles is a harmless business as long as you don't attempt to live in them.

Biography is the best form of history.

No one can disgrace us but ourselves.

Jealousy is one of love's parasites.

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too.

Adam invented love at first sight, one of the greatest labor-saving machines the world ever saw.

We are ap tu hate them, who wont take our advice, and despise them who do.

In the whole history of the world there is but one thing that money cannot buy...to wit--the wag of a dog's tail.

The highest philosophers, in explaining the mystery of this world, are obliged to call in the aid of another.