Josh Billings Quotes - Page 8

Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.

As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.

People travel to learn; most of them before they start should learn to travel.

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.

[Science is] the literature of truth.

Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.

Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe.

There are only two qualities in the world: efficiency and inefficiency; and only two sorts of people: the efficient and the inefficient.

Error will slip through a crack, while truth will stick in a doorway.

True valor is like honesty; it enters into all that a man sees and does.

Contentment is a kind of moral laziness; if there wasn't anything but contentment in his world, man wouldn't be any more of a success than an angleworm is

I called my cat William because no shorter name fits the dignity of his character. Poor old man, he has fits now, so I call him Fitz-William.

I do not know of a better cure for sorrow than to pity somebody else.

Selfish people, with no heart to speak of, have the best time of it.

The best creed we can have is charity toward the creeds of others.

I've never known an auctioneer to lie unless it was absolutely necessary.

The less we know the more we suspect

If animals had reason, they would act just as ridiculous as we menfolks do.

Experience increases our wisdom but doesn't reduce our follies.

Young widows still bide their time.

the squeeky wheel gets the grease.

When a man gets talking about himself, he seldom fails to be eloquent and often reaches the sublime.

The morning paper is just as necessary for an American as dew is to the grass.

Keep a cow, and then the milk won't have to be watered but once.

Most men would rather be charged with malice than with making a blunder.