Robert Orben Quotes

If at first you don't succeed-try, try again. Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success.

Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

An economist is someone who knows all the answers to last years' questions.

The next time you feel like complaining, remember that your garbage disposal probably eats better than 30 percent of the people in the world

Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.

Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Wait'll next year! is the favorite cry of baseball fans, football fans, hockey fans, and gardeners.

A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

A compliment is verbal sunshine.

It's an awful thing to grow old by yourself. My wife hasn't had a birthday in seven years.

For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.

Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.

We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

If you can laugh together, you can work together.

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!

Do your kids a favor - don't have any.

The true test of humility is whether you can say grace before eating crow.

My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.

Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.