Roddy Piper Quotes

I came here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubble gum.

Just when you think you know the answers, I change the questions.

Sooner or later, everybody pays the Piper!

I'm so quick, I could spit in the wind, duck, and let it hit the old lady behind me.

You'll find sympathy in the dictionary between sh*t and suicide.

You don't throw rocks at a man with a machine gun!

I walk so fast, I talk so fast, I could turn the light off and be in bed before the room's dark.

I'm the reason Hulk Hogan lost his hair.

I don't need to know how tough I am to know how tough I am.

My friends keep telling me I'm doing it with Mary Palmer. That's not true - I'm too busy masturbating to meet anyone new.

I was pissin' Vince McMahon off when the red on the back of your neck was diaper rash!

My business in the beginning was very lawless and the more trouble I go into, the more the promoters liked me back then. I was on the front page for doing something wrong, the arena was full. Then, all of a sudden, everything changed somehow and they put rules in. You put rules in a gunfight? I'm not so good at following those rules. I don't' know what will happen at WrestleMania.

Ric Flair, you once called me a woman. Well, what I want to know is, how does it feel to get beat by a woman?

Jerry Lawler walks in here with his crown - DA DA DUM - Imperial Margerine - and talks about what he's going to do to me. Lawler, if you think you're going to beat me, if you think you can do ANYTHING to me, than you really are the king. King of FOOLS, jack!!

Did your parents build knows you a swing facing a wall when you were a kid?

I think that I just wasn't brought up under any rules, and I think that made me a little different and people wanted to look up to that or aspire to that, and that makes me very grateful.

Ever notice Hulk Hogan ain't got no hair on his chest? The only one who's got hair on their chest on their team is Cindy Lauper.

Aww, whats the problem, gertrude? You mean to tell me that you can't walk into a bar with a $100 bill on your forehead and walk with anything, either male or female?

Do you know you couldn't get a date with a $20 bill taped to your forehead?

He mighta spent a couple years under the arena training young wrestlers.

He's as strong as an ox...and ALMOST as smart!

Nature Boy, whats that? Do you run around the forest like Euell Gibbons, eating bark or something?

Ric Flair, the Slim Whitman of Pro-Wrestling.

Rowdy Roddy cut his locks; but don't worry woman, he's still a fox.

Ric Flair is out there crying, his nose is running. He's probably drowning from the size of his nose running.