Sarah Silverman Quotes - Page 3

When God gives you AIDS - and God does give you AIDS, by the way - make lemonAIDS.

I mean, I love being with friends and I love kissing and loving someone to pieces. But it's hard to find someone who doesn't ultimately start judging you and your choices.

I don't think there is a woman in her 40s who doesn't, kind of, examine herself in the mirror.

I am Jewish and proud of this culturally and ethnically - the ways in which I was born this way and am happy with whom I am.

I buy water at the liquor store across the street from where I live. So I'm walking into the door, and standing, loitering, outside the door is a man. And I walk by him to go in, and he says, "I want pussy!" Now, I don't want to seem conceited or anything, but he was talking about me!

Everyone self-Googles. And, I have, of course, the Google alert.

If we can send a person to the moon, we can send someone with AIDS to the moon, and then someday we can send everybody with AIDS to the moon.

I'm not wanting and I don't live in a hovel, but if you keep your costs low, you can do what you want to do creatively.

Jesus is magic, because he turned water into wine. I think he made the statue of liberty disappear in the 80s or something.

I enjoy the last quarter of all basketball games.

We live in a fun time with so many ways to express yourself, you would be crazy to be a comedian and not check them all out.

Look at the people who are kind of the funniest cultures, they're the cultures of the people who have been the most oppressed, black people and Jews. Not that they're the only funny people, but culturally, it comes from the pain, you know?

People can't help what topics cut them deep. It all depends on who's inferring - and what the contexts of their lives are at the time.

One of the greatest things my therapist said to me ... and it really blew my mind in the greatest way, he just said, "Look in the mirror less."

By the time I would have graduated, at 22, I was a writer and featured performer on Saturday Night Live.

I don't need a lot of space.

You have to take the chance to bomb and disappoint audiences.

Traditionally, I have no right to talk about race. I'm white; I didn't grow up in an all-black neighborhood. But the license I see for myself is I'm a member of the world.

We deserve quality lives with equality.

It shows the truth - that the real meaning of a word is only as powerful or harmless as the emotion behind it.

I don't want to be a facilitator for other funny people. It doesn't seem smart for me to be in a comedy and not be funny. My spirit can't take it.

I like to think of myself as 'hot-larious' I'm cute, but I'm totally approachable.

Unvisited tombstones, unread diaries, and erased video game high-score rankings are three of the most potent symbols of mankind's pathetic and fruitless attempts at immortality.

I always look at myself knowing that I will have a certain degree of cognitive distortion.

I dress normal because I want people to treat me regular. And their brains explode. It's really fun.