Sarah Silverman Quotes - Page 4

I don't really like saying "the gays"... I'm not sure why. I suppose I say "the Jews." but I don't say "the blacks." I guess because I'm a Jew for all intents and purposes and to group people together of which I am not one in such a casual way feels disrespectful.

When I was three, my dad thought it would be hilarious to teach me swear words, then have me say them to his friends. They would laugh and laugh. I realize now the laugh was pure shock value, but it felt really good, and I've been chasing it ever since.

I'm a very ritualistic person. I have to wash my face twice, and on the second wash before I rinse, I brush my teeth, then I rinse, then I floss, then I put on moisturizer. I'm ritualistic. Jewishness is very ritualistic.

I think fake boobs have done great things for real boobs. I think people finally appreciate real boobs. People like real boobs. I do. I also enjoy the fact that they are life-nourishers.

Nothing is taboo if you have an angle on it. That said, critiquing women's human shells isn't my thang. Though there's probably something funny or interesting to be said about those who do it, and what that comes from.

Sometimes I am screwing around, and sometimes I get way too serious, but I am a pretty sincere person.

I can't cater to everyone's needs and what they're going to be offended by; that's one freedom I have.

I can see myself adopting. I'm not in a rush to do it. I'm 39, I know, but I do love kids, and I'm very good - I've got a lot of really good moves.

Jews are the most liberal, scrappy, civil-rightsy people there are.

My mom was always someone who if, even now, I say I met a certain famous person, she always says, "She's married to so and so!"

I'm so much more famous than I am financially successful. I mean, I live in a three-room apartment. I mostly make free videos on my couch. But I am fine.

Making my family laugh when I was little - it became an addiction. It was a kind of survival.

I think that whenever a Jew has any kind of notoriety, good or bad, the Jews find it to be good.

It feels weird in our ear holes to hear people worshipping a guy named Ron. We know Rons in our life.

You have to be able to laugh at yourself. That's what I tell Asian people all the time.

I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.

I have no religion, but I can't escape being extremely Jewish ethnically - that is, culturally. In other words, I'm not religious, but I worry and I'm neurotic. And I'm very good with money.

I'll be back. I'll be black. I'll be white black.

I think I've been called edgy - but in all honestly, there is a safety in what I do because I'm always the idiot.

If I have to write by a certain time, I can pull through, but usually I just let stuff happen, hanging out with comic friends - or bringing a basic idea on stage and seeing if it goes anywhere.

Like I said about Seinfeld and Chris Rock, they're a great combination of brilliance and hard work. [But] there are people who are brilliant and don't work hard, and there are people who are brilliant and sabotage themselves.

I'm personally not into a guy who wears pedal pushers and a necklace.

The truth is, I've denied it for years, but I love deconstructing comedy.

If I were somebody else looking at my character, I'd be like, "She's beautiful." I'm practicing. I'm not succeeding.

Sometimes a joke that doesn't work just needs a breath or a little word or the tiniest little change to be fixed.