Sarah Silverman Quotes - Page 5

That still feels like the most accurate description - I felt homesick, but I was home.

[I'm] almost positive there is no God.

People say I'm a nice girl saying terrible things. I tend to say the opposite of what I think. You hope that the absolute power of that transcends, and reaches the audience.

You want to make people laugh and by virtue of that please them, but when you're instructed to make people laugh and please them, you're too resentful to do it.

I've always kept my overhead low so I could do whatever I want. I think of myself as lazy with spurts of getting a lot done. I find myself rooting against things sometimes because I get excited at the thought of a clean slate.

It's really stupid to defend your own jokes. That is for other people to do if they choose to.

I remember the horror story that I told myself over and over again. I'm totally alone in my body. I'm totally alone in my head and nobody will ever see through my eyes. I'm just completely alone.

I gave him a compliment! All right, I told him he probably would've made, like, a really expensive slave in the, like, in the olden-timey days.

The female nudity in movies is always sexualized.

It's funny how people will think I'm being sarcastic a lot and joking. So I'll say, "I like your dress," and they'll go "(bleep) you!" Or I say something serious and they go, "Oh, yeah, ha-ha." They're strangers. They're people who know me from comedy, but luckily I am on pretty much all the time!

When you're a comic, it's like being born gay. It's what you want to do every night when your other friends are out at night going to parties.

I was Minnie Mouse for Halloween, every year when I was little. Then, I had the Cinderella nightgown, when I was really little, that I begged my mother to wear to school. I was also Snow White a lot.

I'll tell you why we make fun of midgets: We're not afraid of them.

I talk to friends who get their feelings hurt when they read Twitter mentions. I have an amazing solution - don't read Twitter mentions.

If I don't do stand-up for two weeks, I get freaked out.

I had a lot of depression as a kid.

I was going to get an abortion the other day. I totally wanted an abortion. And it turns out I was just thirsty.

Mommy is one of the chosen people … and daddy believes that Jesus is magic!

I love children. I'm embarrassingly baby-crazy.

I'm lucky because I intentionally keep my overhead low, and so I can say, "No, thank you."

Comics who grew up surviving their childhood by being able to be the first one to make the joke about their weight or their hairy arms - like me - whatever they're insecure about, whatever they're apologizing for, that becomes their strength.

I feel so confident and awesome and sexy when I'm with people who are older than me, and I've always been surrounded by people who are older than me. But to be vital in comedy, you have to exist in a world that's dominated by young people.

The reason the rest of us remember, like, when John Lennon died, is because it's a moment when adrenaline is surging.

Strippers should be role-models for little girls. If only for the fact that they wax their assholes.

I don't want to deconstruct what I do.