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Terry Pratchett Quotes - Page 23

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Behind him the Master of Ceremonies cleared his throat. His eyes took on a distant, glazed look.The Stealer of Souls, he said in the faraway voice of one whose ears aren't hearing what his mouth is saying, Defeater of

Behind him the Master of Ceremonies cleared his throat. His eyes took on a distant, glazed look.The Stealer of Souls, he said in the faraway voice of one whose ears aren't hearing what his mouth is saying, Defeater of Empires, Swallower of Oceans, Thief of Years, The Ultimate Reality, Harvester of Mankind, the-ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. I CAN SEE MYSELF IN.

Terry Pratchett
Ocean, Eye, Reality
Terry Pratchett (2009). “Mort: (Discworld Novel 4)”, p.312, Random House

And we don't often get any wading birds in the River Ankh, mainly because the pollution would eat their legs away and anyway, it's easier for them to walk on the surface.

Terry Pratchett
Rivers, Bird, Ankh

Welcome to fear, said Moist to himself. It's hope, turned inside out. You know it can't go wrong, you're sure it can't go wrong... But it might.

Terry Pratchett
Fear, Might, Welcome

Matter exploded into being, apparently as chaos, but in fact as a chord. The ultimate power chord.

Terry Pratchett
Matter, Facts, Chaos

Granny sighed. "You have learned something," she said, and thought it safe to insert a touch of sternness into her voice. "They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it is not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.

Terry Pratchett
Ignorance, Voice, Half
Terry Pratchett (2009). “Equal Rites: (Discworld Novel 3)”, p.80, Random House

There are millions of chords. There are millions of numbers. And everyone forgets the one that is a zero. But without the zero, numbers are just arithmetic. Without the empty chord, music is just noise.

Terry Pratchett
Zero, Numbers, Noise
Terry Pratchett (2009). “Soul Music: (Discworld Novel 16)”, p.417, Random House

Creators aren't gods. They make places, which is quite hard. It's men that make gods. This explains a lot.

Terry Pratchett
Men, Discworld, Creator
Terry Pratchett (1998). “The Last Continent: A Discworld Novel”, Harpercollins

It was the living who ignored the strange and wonderful, because life was too full of the boring and mundane.

Terry Pratchett
Strange, Ignored, Wonderful

You are very clever,' said the old man shyly. 'I would like to eat your brains, one day,' For some reason the books of etiquette that Daphne's grandmother had forced on her didn't quite deal with this. Of course, silly people would say to babies, 'You're so sweet I could gobble you all up!', but that sort of nonsense seemed less funny when it was said by a man in war paint who owned more than one skull. Daphne, cursed with good manners, settled for, 'It's very kind of you to say so.

Terry Pratchett
Baby, Sweet, Clever

It was then that Marvin got religion. Not the quiet, personal kind, that involves doing good deeds and living a better life; not even the kind that involves putting on a suit and ringing people's doorbells; but the kind that involves having your own TV network and getting people to send you money.

Terry Pratchett
People, Deeds, Suits
"Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch (Saturday)". Book by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, May 1, 1990.

Oh, he did his best to make their short lives miserable, because that was his job, but nothing he could think up was half as bad as the stuff they thought up themselves.

Terry Pratchett
Jobs, Short Life, Thinking
Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett (2011). “Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch”, p.38, Harper Collins

Once you've ruled out the impossible then whatever is left, however improbable, must be the truth. The problem lay in working out what was impossible, of course. That was the trick, all right. There was also the curious incident of the orangutan in the night-time.

Terry Pratchett
Night, Work Out, Orangutans
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Guards! Guards!: (Discworld Novel 8)”, p.70, Random House

... the food was good solid stuff for a cold morning, all calories and fat and protein and maybe a vitamin crying softly because it was all alone.

Terry Pratchett
Morning, Stuff, Vitamins
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Guards! Guards!: (Discworld Novel 8)”, p.117, Random House

It had a very long pendulum, and the pendulum swung with a slow tick-tock that set his teeth on edge, because it was the the kind of delibrate, annoying ticking that wanted to make it abundantly clear that every tick and every tock was stripping another second off your life.

Terry Pratchett
Long, Teeth, Kind
Terry Pratchett (2009). “The Light Fantastic: (Discworld Novel 2)”, p.123, Random House

Little crimes breed big crimes. You smile at little crimes and then big crimes blow your head off.

Terry Pratchett
Blow, Littles, Crime

Mort was already aware that love made you feel hot and cold and cruel and weak, but he hadn't realized that it could make you stupid.

Terry Pratchett
Stupid, Hot And Cold, Weak

Witches were a bit like cats. They didn’t much like one another’s company, but they did like to know where all the other witches were, just in case they needed them.

Terry Pratchett
Cat, Witch, Cases
Terry Pratchett (2010). “A Hat Full of Sky: (Discworld Novel 32)”, p.11, Random House

Some people believe that when you die, you cross the River of Death and have to pay the ferryman. People don’t seem to worry about that these days. Perhaps there’s a bridge now.

Terry Pratchett
Believe, Bridges, Rivers
Terry Pratchett (2010). “A Hat Full of Sky: (Discworld Novel 32)”, p.102, Random House

It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death for free.

Terry Pratchett
Pyramids, Life And Death, Appreciate Life
Terry Pratchett (2009). “Pyramids: A Novel of Discworld”, p.35, Harper Collins

But what's worth more than gold?" "Practically everything. You, for example. Gold is heavy. Your weight in gold is not very much gold at all. Aren't you worth more than that?

Terry Pratchett
Gold, Example, Weight
Terry Pratchett (2007). “Making Money”, Harper

Maybe the only significant difference between a really smart simulation and a human being was the noise they made when you punched them.

Terry Pratchett
Smart, Differences, Noise
Terry Pratchett, Stephen Baxter (2012). “The Long Earth: (Long Earth 1)”, p.72, Random House

Her singing always cheered him up. Life seemed so much brighter when she stopped.

Terry Pratchett
Singing, Brighter

The thing is, I mean, there’s times when you look at the universe and you think, “What about me?” and you can just hear the universe replying, “Well, what about you?”

Terry Pratchett
Mean, Thinking, Looks
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Thief Of Time: (Discworld Novel 26)”, p.406, Random House

That's one form of magic, of course." "What, just knowing things?" "Knowing things that other people don't know.

Terry Pratchett
Knowing, People, Magic
Terry Pratchett (2012). “The Wit and Wisdom of Discworld”, p.22, Harper Collins

If you want to change a whole people, then you start with the girls. It stands to reason: they learn faster, and they pass on what they learn to their children.

Terry Pratchett
Girl, Children, People

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