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Terry Pratchett Quotes - Page 33

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I have a living will and I have friends, and I have money and I have hope.

I have a living will and I have friends, and I have money and I have hope.

Terry Pratchett
Having Hope
"'The best thing I ever did was stand up and say I have Alzheimer's': Terry Pratchett speaks to Fiona Phillips". www.mirror.co.uk. November 14, 2012.

Blessings be on this house," Granny said, perfunctorily. It was always a good opening remark for a witch. It concentrated people's minds on what other things might be on this house.

Terry Pratchett
Blessing, People, House

What is magic? There is the wizard's explanation... wizards talk about candles, circles, planets, stars, bananas, chants, runes and the importance of having at least four good meals every day.

Terry Pratchett
Stars, Circles, Magic
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Lords And Ladies: (Discworld Novel 14)”, p.141, Random House

Oh, come on. Revelation was a mushroom dream that belonged in the Apocrypha. The New Testament is basically about what happened when God got religion.

Terry Pratchett
Dream, Mushrooms, Revelations

Words are the litmus paper of the minds. If you find yourself in the power of someone who will use the word "commence" in cold blood, go somewhere else very quickly. But if they say "Enter", don't stop to pack.

Terry Pratchett
Blood, Somewhere Else, Finding Yourself
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Small Gods: (Discworld Novel 13)”, p.134, Random House

Historical Re-creation, he thought glumly, as they picked their way across, under, over or through the boulders and insect-buzzing heaps of splintered timber, with streamlets running everywhere. Only we do it with people dressing up and running around with blunt weapons, and people selling hot dogs, and the girls all miserable because they can only dress up as wenches, wenching being the only job available to women in the olden days.

Terry Pratchett
Girl, Running, Dog

Seeing, contrary to popular wisdom, isn't believing. It's where belief stops, because it isn't needed any more.

Terry Pratchett
Believe, Belief, Needed
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Pyramids: (Discworld Novel 7)”, p.216, Random House

You know what I'd really, really like? What I'd pay MONEY for? A ZX81 with a disc drive. I understood the ZX81. It was so easy to interface stuff to it.

Terry Pratchett
Pay, Stuff, Easy

The wages of sin is death but so is the salary of virtue, and at least the evil get to go home early on Fridays.

Terry Pratchett
Friday, Home, Evil
Terry Pratchett (2010). “Witches Abroad: (Discworld Novel 12)”, p.294, Random House

Privilege (to the privileged) means having private laws.

Terry Pratchett
Mean, Law, Privilege

What're quantum mechanics?" "I don't know. People who repair quantums, I suppose.

Terry Pratchett
People, Mechanic, Discworld
Terry Pratchett (2012). “Eric: Discworld: The Unseen University Collection”, p.43, Hachette UK

Of course, just because we've heard a spine-chilling, blood-curdling scream of the sort to make your very marrow freeze in your bones doesn't automatically mean there's anything wrong.

Terry Pratchett
Mean, Blood, Chill

I am death, not taxes. I turn up only once.

Terry Pratchett
Death, Discworld, Taxes
Terry Pratchett (1996). “Feet of Clay: A Novel of Discworld”, Harper Prism

Vimes struggled to his feet, shook his head and set off after it. No thought was involved. It is the ancient instinct of terriers and policemen to chase anything that runs away.

Terry Pratchett
Running, Feet, Ancient
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Feet Of Clay: (Discworld Novel 19)”, p.154, Random House

Funny, reely," he said. "You spend your whole life goin' to school and learnin' stuff, and they never tell you about stuff like the Bermuda Triangle and UFOs and all these Old Masters running around the inside of the Earth. Why do we have to learn boring stuff when there's all this brilliant stuff we could be learnin', that's what I want to know.

Terry Pratchett
Running, School, Triangles

Theres no stink more sorrorful than the stink of wet, burnt paper. It means: the end.

Terry Pratchett
Mean, Paper, Stink

He looked up at them, a scruffy Napoleon with his laces trailing, exiled to a rose-trellised Elba.

Terry Pratchett
Rose, Lace, Elba

As far as I'm concerned, I'm a writer who's writing books, and therefore, I don't want to die. You'd miss the end of the book, wouldn't you? You can't die with an unfinished book.

Terry Pratchett
Book, Writing, Missing
"Discworld's Terry Pratchett On Death And Deciding". Interview With Steve Inskeep, www.npr.org. August 11, 2011.

The most prudent thing any intelligent animal can do, if it would prefer its descendents not to spend a lot of time on a slab with electrodes clamped to their brains or sticking mines on the bottom of ships, or being patronised by zoologists, is to make bloody certain humans don't find out about it.

Terry Pratchett
Funny, Animal, Intelligent

It must be hard for humans, forever floundering through inconvenient geography. Humans are always lost. It's a basic characteristic. It explains a lot about them.

Terry Pratchett
Forever, Geography, Lost
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Lords And Ladies: (Discworld Novel 14)”, p.349, Random House

No, what he didn't like about heroes was that they were usually suicidally gloomy when sober and homicidally insane when drunk.

Terry Pratchett
Hero, Drunk, Insane
Terry Pratchett (2008). “The Colour Of Magic: (Discworld Novel 1)”, p.49, Random House

Mr. Tulip lived his life on that thin line most people occupy just before they haul off and hit someone repeatedly with a wrench.

Terry Pratchett
People, Lines, Wrenches

I certainly don't sit down and plan a book out before I write it. There's a phrase I use called "The Valley Full of Clouds." Writing a novel is as if you are going off on a journey across a valley. The valley is full of mist, but you can see the top of a tree here and the top of another tree over there. And with any luck you can see the other side of the valley. But you cannot see down into the mist. Nevertheless, you head for the first tree.

Terry Pratchett
Book, Writing, Journey

Our garden was debated territory between five local cats, and we'd heard that the best way to keep other cats out of the garden was to have one yourself. A moment's rational thought here will spot the slight flaw in this reasoning.

Terry Pratchett
Cat, Garden, Territory
"The Unadulterated Cat". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1989.

All things that are, are ours. But we must care. For if we do not care, we do not exist. If we do not exist, then there is nothing but blind oblivion. And even oblivion must end someday. Lord, will you grant me just a little time? For the proper balance of things. To return what was given. For the sake of prisoners and the flight of birds. Death took a step backwards. It was impossible to read expression in azrael's features. Death glanced sideways at the servants. Lord, what can the harvest hope for, if not for the care of the reaper man?

Terry Pratchett
Men, Expression, Bird
"Reaper Man". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1991.

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