Comedian Quotes - Page 14

Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine.

I don't believe in burning holy books, but I am organizing a protest. I'll be burning all my Dennis Miller VHS cassettes as a special protest. I don't want to hear the introduction 'you may have seen our next comedian on the Hannity show'.

I believe that any type of education can be great, but an education about ourselves can create something wonderful. I am a comedian, but people have called me a motivational speaker. I don't really consider myself that at all.

If you like standup and decide that it's overtaking your life and want to hate it, watch 1,000 standup comedians who are trying to get on a TV show.

I had to write a comedy set and film a show at the same time. And it's the second time I've been up on stage as a stand-up comedian with untested material. I was saying it out loud for the first time that night. It didn't go how I expected, but in the best possible way.

Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds.

I guess I considered myself just sort of a sketch comedian, you know? Actual screenwriting hadn't really occurred to me as a viable job - I didn't really know anything about it.

I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing.

I don't think of myself as funny - I don't fill up a room with my humor... I would fail miserably as a stand-up comedian.

comedians are people who say funny things, and comics are people who say things funny.

In the '80s especially, a lot of comedians felt compelled to stick with what made them famous and those people became caricatures.

We live in a fun time with so many ways to express yourself, you would be crazy to be a comedian and not check them all out.

I have late onset ADHD. I take on too much and end up spinning plates, but its entertaining, and it helps you make quick connections if youre a comedian, if you have a brain that can dance around too much.

Jamie Kilstein is amazing and I will be spreading the word. He has the spark that energized my conscience. We need more comedians kicking it hard the way he does every night

The logic was, there weren't too many female comedians, so I thought I might as well try a field that had fewer competitors than the field I was in, which was acting, singing and dancing.

I come from the stage. I started my career as a stand-up comedian and then later on became an actor.

Everyone goes "every comedian does Arnold Schwarzenegger". Yes, they do; but do they do Arnold Schwarzenegger in Brokeback Mountain?

There's all this evidence that we leave now of our life, especially if you're a comedian or an entertainer. I mean, I guess that was always kind of true, but now there's a lot more. We leave a deeper trail. Like a snail trail of our memories, you know? But it's not really about arousal. It's about artistic droppings.

I like the comedians that go into detail and tell longer stories.

If you're billed as a comedian, people will accept anything you say as light-hearted and not with intent behind it.

One of my first jobs was on a lesbian cruise. I was the ship comedian for the Lesbian Love Boat.

All of my life doing interviews, comedy has been my favorite thing, comedians are my favorite people.

I'm a goofball and a comedian.

Twitter makes you a comedian in the same way that digital cameras make you a photographer

Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke.