Comedian Quotes - Page 13

The glass is always half empty. All good comedians are manic-depressive.

I believe in being honest with myself. If there's one thing I hate it's when a comedian is great and won't admit it. I've never met one like that, but if I did, I'd hate them.

Music takes us where words cannot.

People who become comedians… come from pain, come from conflict.

I love stand-up. I look at it as a way to always stay productive. I couldn't imagine only being an actor or a writer. Because what the hell do I do when I'm not working? Mope?

I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.

By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

My interest in magic was kindled by Steve Martin, the comedian I'd gone to high school with.

I was a big fan of Rodney Dangerfield. He had this HBO Young Comedians Special and he'd always bring up new talent, and I loved that!

I hate when comedians use Performed For The Troops as one of there credits before they go up on stage.

Even as a little child, I've always had that comedian kind of attitude.

I’m a comedian who got into movies, so I don’t really think of myself as an actor.

A comic says funny things. A comedian says things funny.

I think it's a comedian's job to make everything funny. Nothing is off-limits.

Ive been a stand-up comedian for years, and I can be silly.

I don't have credibility, I'm a comedian. I'm not Ed Murrow up on the roof in a London fog reporting on the blitz.

I also could see myself as a stand-up comedian, a fashion designer (for people of all sizes), a hairdresser, an earnest and eventually burnt-out politician, or the owner of a small bistro. But I fear that, without poetry, I would have simply been going through the motions.

There's something about being a comedian that means you have to not be scared of failing because failing is part of the process.

All comedians are preoccupied with one thing and with one thing only-themmm-selllves. It's a horrible lot in life.

Being a comedian is a lot like being an athlete. If you're Carl Lewis and you're the fastest, then no matter what you're the fastest.

Comedians are the one who have to tell the emperor he has no clothes on.

A lot of comedians today have misunderstood the concept of a subversive comedian. If you really want to be subversive, you have to please and offend in equal amounts.

In my first stand-up acts there wasn't material even. You know, I'd go on stage and cry and read a Dear John letter or gut fish on stage. I could be odd - and it's what interested me as a comedian.

I love doing it [hosting the Oscars] because I love the danger of it and you have to come through and think on your feet. That's why that show, no matter who hosts it, it really should be a fast-thinking comedian who is really quick on their feet that can handle situations that happen, or somebody with that kind of mentality that can capitalize on something.

There is no more terrible fate for a comedian than to be taken seriously.