Sarcastic Quotes - Page 32

Scotland: That garret of the earth - that knuckle-end of England - that land of Calvin, oatcakes, and sulfur.

...Never tell a ticket agent, "As a matter of fact, I DID accept items from persons unknown to me! A nice man in a chadar gave me this awesome luggage freshener with a clock attached!" Federal regulations require them to have no idea you're joking as they riddle your body with bullets.

His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.

Congratulations on your job at the bank! Yes. You work for the bank. After taxes, your largest expense is your mortgage and credit-card debt.

Plus, I was about to spend six weeks with Christian Ozera. He was sarcastic, difficult, and made jokes about everything. Actually, he was a lot like me. It was going to be a long six weeks.

Tell the cook of this restaurant with my compliments that these are the very worst sandwiches in the whole world, and that, when I ask for a watercress sandwich, I do not mean a loaf with a field in the middle of it.

It is only by not paying one's bills that one can hope to live in the memory of the commercial classes.

Ministers fall like buttered slices of bread: usually on their good side.

Manuel will show you to your rooms - if you're lucky.

A married woman is a slave you must know how to seat upon a throne.

Destiny stands by sarcastic with our dramatis personae folded in her hand.

In order to fully realize how bad a popular play can be, it is necessary to see it twice.

It's easier to replace a dead man than a good picture.

On whether Blurred Lines' video is sexist: I don't. I really appreciate the people who watch out for that stuff, and I'm sensitive to those sort of things. On the surface level, the naked women dancing, I understand that can be perceived that way. But we're directed to have a sort of confidence, a sarcastic attitude about the whole situation.

If you don't advertise yourself you will be advertised by your loving enemies.

I’ve noticed that one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child is in, the parents who have older children always tell you the next stage is worse.

A sarcastic blond genie with a bad attitude. -Clary, pg.243-

Now, because he knows that his economic theories don't work, he's been spending these last few days calling me every name in the book. Lately he's called me a socialist for wanting to roll-back the Bush tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans so we can finally give tax relief to the middle class. I don't know what's next. By the end of the week he'll be accusing me of being a secret communist because I shared my toys in kindergarten. I shared my peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

My mother, father and brothers (I was the youngest of three boys), were all very sarcastic and we were a complete Irish-Catholic family. We didn't talk about our feelings ever, and if we did, we were yelling about them - there was no in-between. That's just carried over so many ways in my life and sabotaged relationships, sabotaged creative stuff.

PATRIOT, n. One to whom the interests of a part seem superior to those of the whole. The dupe of statesmen and the tool of conquerors.

EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.

He has inhibited discussion by designating admonition as the method of dealing with a heretic- and the first method, too, because he is not a Christian. This is so that he would not seem to require correction again and again and before two or three witnesses as though he were a Christian. He ought to be corrected for the very reason that he is not to be disputed with. In addition, this is said because a controversy over the Scriptures can, clearly, produce no other effect than help to upset either the stomach or the brain.

Living under capitalism, I like learning to feel comfortable with activity that does not result in success — since non-success is the norm. Trying your best and making it is not the norm — it’s propaganda. Of course I play with notions of hype, too... The entire Comatonse website is a sarcastic hype-engine, sprawling forever, overwhelming the viewer with nothingness.

She never was really charming till she died.

He not only overflowed with learning, but stood in the slop.