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Ambrose Bierce Quotes - Page 6

All Quotes Accidents Adversity Affection Age Aging Alcohol Army Art Assumption Atheism Attitude Authority Beauty Belief Boundaries Business Certainty Change Character Cheating Childhood Children Choices Church Clarinet Confusion Cooking Country Creation Critics Culture Cynicism Death Democracy Desire Devil Diplomacy Disappointment Doubt Drinking Dying Earth Education Ego Energy Envy Eternity Evidence Evil Excellence Expectations Failure Faith Fame Family Fashion Fear Feelings Finance Food Friendship Funeral Funny Future Genius Giving God Gold Growth Guilt Happiness Hatred Heart Heaven Hell History Home Honor Hope House Ignorance Imagination Independence Injustice Insanity Inspiration Inspirational Joy Judging Judgment Justice Kindness Knowledge Labor Language Latin Leadership Learning Liars Liberty Life Literature Logic Losing Love Lying Marriage Math Military Money Morality Motherhood Music Nature Nihilism Office Opportunity Optimism Passion Past Patriotism Peace Philosophy Pleasure Politics Power Prejudice Preparation Pride Property Prosperity Purpose Quality Reality Religion Responsibility Revenge Revolution Running Sacrifice School Science Silence Sin Skins Son Soul Spirituality Spring Stupidity Style Success Suffering Taxes Temptation Theology Time Truth Understanding Violence Virtue Wall War Water Wealth Wife Wine Wisdom Work Worship Writing Youth

Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.

Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.

Sarcastic, Beach, Nature

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.152, 谷月社

Christians and camels receive their burdens kneeling.

Christian, Camels, Kneeling

Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.1214, Delphi Classics

DEINOTHERIUM, n. An extinct pachyderm that flourished when the Pterodactyl was in fashion. The latter was a native of Ireland, its name being pronounced Terry Dactyl or Peter O'Dactyl, as the man pronouncing it may chance to have heard it spoken or seen it printed.

Fashion, Men, Names

Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.51, University of Georgia Press

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

Sarcastic, Animal, Purpose

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.70, 谷月社

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

Inspirational, Sarcastic, Business

Ambrose Bierce (2015). “The Eyes of the Panther (Cryptofiction Classics - Weird Tales of Strange Creatures)”, p.20, Read Books Ltd

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.

Insanity, Philosopher, Delusional

ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear.

Voice, Ears, Singers

Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2358, Delphi Classics

Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.

Player, Men, Gambling

Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.133, University of Georgia Press

BRANDY, n. A cordial composed on one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan.

Two, Alcohol, Four

Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.29, University of Georgia Press

Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

Love, Appreciation, Rewards And Recognition

Cynic's Word Book (1906) p. 13

A popular author is one who writes what the people think. Genius invites them to think something else.

Writing, Thinking, People

Ambrose Bierce (2012). “The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 8 Epigrams, On With the Dance, Negligible Tales”, p.249, tredition

Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.

Stars, Responsibility, Fate

Ambrose Bierce (2012). “The Devil's Dictionary”, p.106, Courier Corporation

Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.

Debtors, Owing A Debt, Forgetful

Ambrose Bierce (2012). “The Devil's Dictionary”, p.38, Courier Corporation

TELESCOPE, n. A device having a relation to the eye similar to that of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us with a multitude of needless details. Luckily it is unprovided with a bell summoning us to the sacrifice.

Eye, Sacrifice, Science

Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.2526, Delphi Classics

Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.

Food, Cooking, Bread

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.43, 谷月社

MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.

Nature, Science, Brain

Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.164, University of Georgia Press

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

Funny, Anniversary, Romantic

Devil's Dictionary (1911) p. 213

Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

Funny, Prayer, Humor

Ambrose Bierce (2012). “The Devil's Dictionary”, p.96, Courier Corporation

Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.

Hope, Disappointment, Eternity

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.169, 谷月社

Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.

Success, Perseverance, Congratulations

Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Super Large 18pt Edition”, p.263, ReadHowYouWant.com

Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

Peculiar, Betrayed, Virtue

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.67, 谷月社

To the eye of failure success is an accident.

Eye, Success Failure, Accidents

Ambrose Bierce (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)”, p.1221, Delphi Classics

diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.

Sarcastic, Country, Art

Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.47, 谷月社

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

Motivational, Drinking, Beer

The Devil's Dictionary

Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.

Faith, Christian, Spiritual

Ambrose Bierce (1906). “The Cynic's Word Book”, p.49, Lulu.com

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