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Bill Maher Quotes - Page 2

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I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

Biblical, People, Political

I don't dislike children, I just don't particularly want to be around with them a lot. Problem is, neither do their parents.

Children, Parent, Want

The plain fact is: religion must die for mankind to live.

Religion, Atheism, Facts

"Religulous". www.imdb.com. 2008.

As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.

Believe, Path, Asks

Over the last 30 odd years, Democrats have moved to the right and the right has moved into the mental hospital. So what we have is one perfectly good party for hedge fund managers, credit card companies, banks, defense contractors, big agriculture and the pharmaceutical lobby... That's the Democrats. And they sit across the aisle from a small group of religious lunatics, flat-earthers and civil war re-enactors who mostly communicate by AM radio and call themselves the Republicans and who actually worry that Obama is a socialist. Socialist? He's not even a liberal.

Religious, War, Party

"Real Time with Bill Maher".

Freedom isn't free. It shouldn't be a bragging point that 'Oh, I don't get involved in politics,' as if that makes someone cleaner. No, that makes you derelict of duty in a republic. Liars and panderers in government would have a much harder time of it if so many people didn't insist on their right to remain ignorant and blindly agreeable.

Liars, Government, People

Bill Maher (2003). “When You Ride Alone You Ride with Bin Laden: What the Government Should Be Telling Us to Help Fight the War on Terrorism”, New Millenium

The answer isn't another pill. The answer is spinach.

Pills, Answers, Spinach

"Want to Save the Economy? Change What You Eat" by Kerry Trueman, www.huffingtonpost.com. May 17, 2011.

Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies crazy people. Flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative.

Crazy, Book, Thinking

"Bill Maher: I'm Swiss". Documentary, Comedy, 2005.

I don't know anyone less Jesus like than Christians.

Christian, Jesus, Atheist

New Rule: Gay marriage won't lead to dog marriage. It is not a slippery slope to rampant inter-species coupling. When women got the right to vote, it didn't lead to hamsters voting. No court has extended the equal protection clause to salmon. And for the record, all marriages are "same sex" marriages. You get married, and every night, it's the same sex.

Dog, Sex, Gay

Bill Maher (2006). “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer”, p.113, Rodale

I feel like I'm wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.

Shoes, Orthopedics, Feels

Denying racism is the new racism.

Racism

"Bill Maher: 'Denying Racism Is The New Racism'", www.realclearpolitics.com. October 7, 2011.

We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.

Funny, Responsibility, Usa

The true axis of evil in America is the brilliance of our marketing combined with the stupidity of our people.

Axes, America, People

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

People, Stupidity, Seems

We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists.

Country, Sheep, People

When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.

Opportunity, People, Complaining

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

Crazy, White, Matter

"Donald Trump Is the White Kanye". "Real Time with Bill Maher", www.youtube.com. June 26, 2015.

Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.

Funny, Atheist, Men

"Is There A God?" by Stephen Thompson, www.avclub.com. October 9, 2002.

There is a big difference between a disappointing friend and a deadly enemy. Of course the Democrats are disappointing. That's what makes them Democrats. If they were any more frustrating they'd be your relatives. But in this country they are all that stands between you and darkest night. You know why their symbol is the letter 'D'? Because it's a grade that means good enough, but just barely. You know why the Republican symbol is 'R'? Because it's the noise a pirate makes when he robs you and feeds you to a shark.

Country, Mean, Night

Trying to get today's Republicans to accept basic facts is like trying to get your dog to take a pill. You have to feed them the truth wrapped in a piece of baloney, hold their snouts shut and stroke their throats. and even then, just when you think they've swallowed it, they spit it out on the linoleum.

Dog, Thinking, Trying

I'll show you Obama's birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin's high school diploma.

School, Diploma, Birth

One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.

Religion, Atheism, Littles

In Europe, Socialism is just another political party. It just means that government takes over certain things like hospitals, prisons, military and schools that should not be run for profit.

Running, Military, Party

Religion is insanity by consensus.

Insanity, Religion, Atheism

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