Authors:

A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
T
U
V
W
X
Y
Z

Bill Maher Quotes - Page 4

All Quotes Abortion Abstinence Age Army Art Atheism Atheist Belief Birth Bullshit Cancer Character Children Chocolate Choices Christ Church Coffee College Comedy Communion Country Culture Debate Democracy Doubt Evil Feelings Fighting Fun Funny Giving Hate Health Care Heaven Hell Home House Human Nature Hurt Internet Jesus Justice Killing Kissing Leaving Lying Magic Mankind Military Moon Office Opportunity Pain Palin Past Police Politics Pope Pot Racism Rage Rain Reading Reality Religion Responsibility Running Sacrifice School Selling Shame Sin Sleep Smoking Sports Stupidity Tea Team Today Violence Virtue Voting Wall War Weed Wife Winning Worry

I think the right-wingers have to buddy up to the fact that either the minimum wage has to go up, and people get enough money to live, or you're always going to have people needing government assistance. You can't have

I think the right-wingers have to buddy up to the fact that either the minimum wage has to go up, and people get enough money to live, or you're always going to have people needing government assistance. You can't have it both ways.

Thinking, Government, People

God knows life sucks. It's right there in the Bible. The book of Job is all about Job asking God to take away pain and misery. And God says, "I can't take away pain and misery because then no one would talk to me."

Jobs, Pain, Funny Life

Have you ever met a war you didn't love? I’m asking, is there any place you don’t want to intervene in?

War, Mets

"Bill Maher Hammers Hawkish Bill Kristol: ‘Have You Ever Met a War You Didn’t Love?’". www.rawstory.com. March 01, 2014.

I don't say that I'm an atheist. I don't like that term, because I think it mirrors the certitude of religion. I say I don't know. And if you don't know - and you don't - just man up and say you don't know. Don't turn to silly stories and ancient myths.

Atheist, Silly, Men

Source: www.avclub.com

Ronald Reagan basically legalized every illegal immigrant in this country. I just like to bring this up because every week I like to make Republican heads explode about how they love Ronald Reagan, but would despise everything he did.

Country, Republican, Week

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.

Relationship, Funny Love, Love You

New Rule: News organizations have to stop using the phrase: "We go beyond the headlines." That's your job, dummy. You don't see American Airlines saying, "We land our jets on the runway"!

Jobs, Land, Organization

Bill Maher (2006). “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer”, p.140, Rodale

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

Ego Problem, Worship You, Religion

Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.

Truth, People, Wonder

The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.

Generations, Machines, Rage

Bill Maher (2006). “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer”, p.114, Rodale

I see they found out the universe is 80 million years older than we thought. It's also been lying about its weight.

Funny, Lying, Science

FaceBook post by Bill Maher from Mar 25, 2013

Why can't God just defeat the devil and get rid of evil? It's the same reason the comic book character can't get rid of his nemesis; then there's no story.

Book, Character, Evil

If anti-gay stuff is always coming out of your mouth, something very gay is probably going in.

Gay, Mouths, Stuff

In ten Muslim countries you can get the death penalty just for being gay. If they were chopping the heads off of gay people in the Vatican, wouldn't there be a greater outcry among liberals?

Country, Gay, People

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Sea, Environmental, Windmills

"Gulf oil spill: A hole in the world" by Naomi Klein, www.theguardian.com. June 18, 2010.

What is it with conservatives? Seriously, I'm not trying to be partisan but it seems like if they're anti-illegal alien, they have illegal aliens working for them. If they're anti-gay, they turn out to be gay. If they're super Christian, they're a witch.

Christian, Gay, Trying

Funny that all of Nixon's crimes - anonymous campaign cash, wiretapping, undeclared wars - are all legal now. Discuss.

War, Law, Usa

Twitter post from Jun 13, 2013

Halloween is a day when we all get to fool people into thinking we're someone else. Or as Mitt Romney calls it, campaigning.

Halloween, Thinking, People

Maybe a president who didn't believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.

Believe, Heaven, Soldier

The difference between a GOP convention and Comic-Con is that the people at Comic-Con have a much firmer grasp of reality.

Reality, Differences, People

But I've often said that if I had – I have two dogs – if I had two retarded children, I'd be a hero. And yet the dogs, which are pretty much the same thing. What? They're sweet. They're loving. They're kind, but they don't mentally advance at all. Dogs are like retarded children.

Dog, Sweet, Children

Did you see the 2000 Republican Presidential Convention? The last time the Republicans had that many Black people on a stage, they were selling them!

People, Presidential, Black

Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?

Home, Suing, Break

The president had a press conference about this this week and he said that the U.S. has no plans to attack North Korea. And then he added, 'Like having no plan ever stopped me before.'. He has something even more deadly in store for them - we're going to bring them democracy.

Korea, Democracy, President

There is no debate here, just scientists and non-scientists. And since the subject is science, the non-scientists don't get a vote.

Vote, Debate, Scientist

You May Also Like: