I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.
A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish.
The best advice I can give you about falling is to never land.
What interests me is being alive and being with friends that I care about and being as creative as I can given circumstance.
What makes a home home? Animals, and a little bit of clutter.
I made about 28 movies, and I think about five of them were good.
I am a clown, just without the painted smile.
How much do I owe you?
Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish
Step by step, we will break this cycle of silence, poor information and stigma.
I don't know if my looks will ever get any better, but my pratfalls sure won't.
My father was the funniest guy I ever met. I'm not sure if I stole his stuff or if I inherited it.
A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me.
The best comedy I ever did was when people didn't know who I was.
It took me 20 years of making movies to learn how to do it.
Fame is a very unnatural human condition. When you stop to realize that Abraham Lincoln was probably never seen by more than 400 people in a single evening, and that I can enter over 40 million homes in a single evening due to the power of television, you have to admit the situation is not normal.
Some Harvard guy said that acid would open our minds, pot wouldn't hurt us, and cocaine was benign.
Socialism works ... [and] Cuba might prove that. I think it's conclusive that there have been areas where socialism has helped to keep people at least stabilized at a certain level.
It's never a good idea for a celebrity to sign autographs or take pictures if a crowd is gathering.
I think the Clintons are brilliant. I've never met a person as intelligent as Bill, and I think Hillary is right up there with him. They're too smart for Washington.
I just went into this business for laughs. I guess I don't mind being an actor so much now.
Every Vacation movie didn't just make the studio money. They each made the studio a lot of money.
You may have read that I went to M.I.T. In 1982 I filled out a Who's Who survey with joking responses, and they never bothered to check the facts.
The fact was, Ford kept stumbling around. I didn't want him in the White House. I wanted Carter in, and I had a forum of 20 million people watching.
I tell the person I won't take a picture or sign the autograph, but I will shake their hand. That kind of personal touch is all they're really seeking.
