Evan Esar Quotes - Page 7

A vacation is like love - anticipated with pleasure, experienced with discomfort, and remembered with nostalgia.

The Lord takes care of his own, but church trustees still put lightning rods on the steeple.

A batch of credit cards fattens a wallet before it thins it.

Hindsight is good, foresight is better; but second sight is best of all.

After wisdom comes wit.

Conceit is a disease That the doctors got no cure They've done a lot of research on it But what it is, they're still not sure.

Charm is to a woman what perfume is to a flower.

Age brings wisdom to some men, and to others chess.

Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy.

The state of the Union largely depends on the state of the unions.

The honeymoon is the only period when a woman isn't trying to reform her husband.

An actor is a man with an infinite capacity for taking praise.

The three chief causes of divorce are men, women, and marriage.

Good teachers cost a lot; but, poor teachers cost a lot more.

Egocentric: A person who has his I's too close together.

A credit card is a convenient device that saves you the trouble of counting your change.

The modern dance is no dance in the first place, and when you've finally learned it, it's not modern any more.

A man picks a wife about the same way an apple picks a farmer.

A girl never cares who casts the first stone at her -- as long as it's a diamond

If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker.

To a teenager, it cannot be true love if her family approves of him.

Don't tear your hair out over a woman; it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.

It's surprising how much wisdom every man possesses -- if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others.

A man doesn't have vacation problems: his boss tells him when to take them, and his wife tells him where.

There's nothing as short as short-term debt.