Evan Esar Quotes - Page 5

The secret of successful writing lies in striking the right keys on the typewriter.

Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.

Consistency is a jewel, but too much jewelry is vulgar.

An instrument that sometimes expresses thought, sometimes obscures thought, but most often replaces thought.

Only one man has the right to boast, and that's the man who never does.

A corporation has all the powers and privileges of an individual: all it lacks is a conscience.

Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.

Divorce has become so easy nowadays that women have stopped crying at weddings.

Admiration: Our feeling of delight that another person resembles us.

Adolescence begins when children stop asking questions-because they know all the answers.

With a braggart, it's no sooner done than said.

The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.

Bureaucracy is more people doing less things, and taking more time to do them worse.

In Congress the majority governs, but the minority rules.

Next time a man tells you talk is cheap, ask him if he knows how much a session of Congress costs.

Many a wedding takes place when a man can't afford to go steady with a girl any longer.

A home in the country is what a city man hopes to buy and a farmer hopes to sell.

Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.

Congress would give the people what they wanted if the people knew what they wanted, and if Congress could give it to them.

A dollar saved is a dollar earned but seldom vice versa.

You can always tell the golfer who's winning: he's the one who keeps telling his opponent that it's only a game.

The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.

Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry -- and the world laughs harder.

Don't be a hog: the only time a hog helps the community is when he dies.

Somebody is always doing something that somebody else said couldn't be done.