Sarah Silverman Quotes - Page 7

I'm always in those tabloids where they show who's badly dressed. It's funny, because each time I'm getting my picture taken, I'm thinking, This is a nice outfit.

I'm doing stuff on Kaballah and Scientology and a little bit more racial stuff, for good measure.

I don't think half my stuff would be funny if the audience didn't feel at least a little bit safe that it's not how I truly feel.

And then before going back for my sophomore year, I decided to change my major to arts and sciences, and my dad cut a deal with me: He said if I'd quit school he'd pay my rent for the next three years, as if I were in school.

I really think everything is fair game.

I was sent to sleepover camp since I was 6, and you know, it's a recipe for disaster.

I happen to think that there are already tons of perfectly good babies out there already born.

If I have kids, I'll adopt.

I still have highs and lows, maybe I don't cry salty tears as much.

I do love the idea of ritual.

I love making videos on my couch. You can put those on the Internet fast. I can express myself.

I just think of myself as a comedian, really.

People who like what I do come in all shapes and sizes. Not sure what the common denominator is per se. Oh, it's meeee! But to be embraced by a progressive community means something to me and this one feels like home.

Growing up, I always loved Disney movies, but the first movie I remember seeing is 'Sleepers,' so I wasn't really taken to children's movies.

I don't really care for like fat jokes about women, specifically.

I grew up in a house where there were no taboos, so it came originally from a pretty innocent place, where I was shocked at the things that shocked people.

I have a ton of Holocaust stuff, and some of it is really hard core.

Someone on Twitter sent me a page from a textbook. It had a picture of a football player next to a picture of me. The juxtaposition was meant to illustrate two meanings of "offensive." Seriously. It broke my heart. It's that accepted what I do is offensive?

Comedy is about talking about my own experience, and I'm a woman, and that's my experience, and just because it isn't yours doesn't invalidate it.

I like trying jokes and seeing the response, and if I end up doing it in my act, it won't be 140 characters. Twitter is helpful that way to me. It's like a message in a bottle. But a lot of times I think I tweet the stuff I would like to say to teenage me.

The first time I did stand-up was the summer I was 17.

I was a bedwetter until I was about 15, and it was humiliating.

Summer camp: the second worst camp for Jews.

I don't wanna be labeled as straight or labeled as gay. I just want people to look at me and see me as white.

I was raped by a doctor. Which is, you know, so bittersweet for a Jewish girl.