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Terry Pratchett Quotes - Page 10

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It's an interesting fact that fewer than 17 % of Real cats end their lives with the same name they started with. Much family effort goes into selecting one at the start (She looks like a Winnifred to me), and the as the

It's an interesting fact that fewer than 17 % of Real cats end their lives with the same name they started with. Much family effort goes into selecting one at the start ("She looks like a Winnifred to me"), and the as the years roll by it suddenly finds itself being called Meepo or Ratbag.

Terry Pratchett
Real, Cat, Years
"The Unadulterated Cat". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1989.

Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off.

Terry Pratchett
Dignity, Habit, Discworld
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Small Gods: (Discworld Novel 13)”, p.10, Random House

The days followed one another patiently. Right back at the beginning of the multiverse they had tried all passing at the same time, and it hadn't worked.

Terry Pratchett
Passing, Multiverse, Passings
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Wyrd Sisters: (Discworld Novel 6)”, p.85, Random House

There were no lies here. All fancies fled away. That's what happened in all deserts. It was just you, and what you believed.

Terry Pratchett
Lying, Fancy, Desert
Terry Pratchett, Jacqueline Simpson (2008). “The Folklore of Discworld”, Doubleday UK

THAT’S MORTALS FOR YOU, Death continued. THEY’VE ONLY GOT A FEW YEARS IN THIS WORLD AND THEY SPEND THEM ALL IN MAKING THINGS COMPLICATED FOR THEMSELVES. FASCINATING.

Terry Pratchett
Years, World, Complicated
Terry Pratchett (2009). “Mort: (Discworld Novel 4)”, p.59, Random House

He stared at his feet. “I’m still very ignorant,” he said, “but at least I’m ignorant about really important things.

Terry Pratchett
Feet, Ignorant, Important
Terry Pratchett (2010). “Diggers: The Second Book of the Nomes”, p.78, Random House

He’s bound to have done something,” Nobby repeated. In this he was echoing the Patrician’s view of crime and punishment. If there was a crime, there should be punishment. If the specific criminal should be involved in the punishment process then this was a happy accident, but if not then any criminal would do, and since everyone was undoubtedly guilty of something, the net result was that, in general terms, justice was done.

Terry Pratchett
Views, Punishment, Justice
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Men At Arms: (Discworld Novel 15)”, p.252, Random House

Most witches don’t believe in gods. They know that the gods exist, of course. They even deal with them occasionally. But they don’t believe in them. They know them too well. It would be like believing in the postman.

Terry Pratchett
Believe, Would Be, Witch
"Witches Abroad". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1991.

The truth is that even big collections of ordinary books distort space, as can readily be proved by anyone who has been around a really old-fashioned secondhand bookshop, one that looks as though they were designed by M. Escher on a bad day and has more stairways than storeys and those rows of shelves which end in little doors that are surely too small for a full-sized human to enter. The relevant equation is: Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass; a good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.

Terry Pratchett
Truth, Book, Bad Day

He was certain he was anorectic, because every time he looked in a mirror he saw a fat man. It was the Archchancellor, standing behind him and shouting at him.

Terry Pratchett
Men, Mirrors, Saws
Terry Pratchett (2009). “Reaper Man: A Novel of Discworld”, p.31, Harper Collins

Cheery was aware that Commander Vimes didn't like the phrase 'The innocent have nothing to fear', believing the innocent had everything to fear, mostly from the guilty but in the longer term even more from those who say things like 'The innocent have nothing to fear'.

Terry Pratchett
Believe, Phrases, Snuff

The significant owl hoots in the night.

Terry Pratchett
Night, Owl, Significant
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Guards! Guards!: (Discworld Novel 8)”, p.7, Random House

My name is unpronounceable in your tongue, woman,” it said. “I’ll be the judge of that,” warned Granny, and added, “Don’t call me woman.” “Very well. My name is WxrtHltl-jwlpklz,” said the demon smugly.

Terry Pratchett
Names, Judging, Tongue

The universe, they said, depended for its operation on the balance of four forces which they identified as charm, persuasion, uncertainty and bloody-mindedness.

Terry Pratchett
Balance, Four, Persuasion
"The Light Fantastic". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1986.

He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at.

Terry Pratchett
Atheist, Giving, Discworld
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Small Gods: (Discworld Novel 13)”, p.199, Random House

The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo.

Terry Pratchett
Mind, Cuckoos, Dukes
"Wyrd Sisters". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1988.

Nothing but dust and fundamentalists.

Terry Pratchett
Dust
"Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch (Wednesday)". Book by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, May 1, 1990.

I get it,' said the prisoner. 'Good Cop, Bad Cop, eh?' If you like.' said Vimes. 'But we're a bit short staffed here, so if I give you a cigarette would you mind kicking yourself in the teeth?

Terry Pratchett
Giving, Mind, Teeth

It was lonely on the hill, and cold. And all you could do was keep going. You could scream, cry, and stamp your feet, but apart from making you feel warmer, it wouldn’t do any good. You could say it was unfair, and that was true, but the universe didn’t care because it didn’t know what “fair” meant. That was the big problem about being a witch. It was up to you. It was always up to you.

Terry Pratchett
Lonely, Feet, Care

She was not, herself, hugely in favour of motherhood in general. Obviously it was necessary, but it wasn't exactly difficult. Even cats managed it. But women acted as if they'd been given a medal that entitled them to boss people around. It was as if, just because they'd got the label which said "mother," everyone else got a tiny part of the label that said "child".

Terry Pratchett
Mother, Children, Cat
"Carpe Jugulum". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1998.

They may be called the Palace Guard, the City Guard, or the Patrol. Whatever the name, their purpose in any work of heroic fantasy is identical: it is, round about Chapter Three (or ten minutes into the film) to rush into the room, attack the hero one at a time, and be slaughtered. No one ever asks them if they want to. This book is dedicated to those fine men.

Terry Pratchett
Book, Hero, Men
"Guards! Guards!". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1989.

I think you should be proud of not being worse than just deeply introverted and socially maladjusted.

Terry Pratchett
Thinking, Proud, Should

Humans! They lived in a world where the grass continued to be green and the sun rose every day and flowers regularly turned into fruit, and what impressed them? Weeping statues. And wine made out of water! A mere quantum-mechanistic tunnel effect, that'd happen anyway if you were prepared to wait zillions of years. As if the turning of sunlight into wine, by means of vines and grapes and time and enzymes, wasn't a thousand times more impressive and happened all the time.

Terry Pratchett
Flower, Wine, Mean
Terry Pratchett (2016). “Seriously Funny: The Endlessly Quotable Terry Pratchett”, p.87, Random House

Nothing has to be true forever. Just for long enough, to tell you the truth.

Terry Pratchett
Long, Forever, Enough
Terry Pratchett (2014). “The Truth: Stage Adaptation”, p.125, A&C Black

I'm not cruel, sir, I won't shoot you in the guts, but I will make you realize how much you took your toes for granted.

Terry Pratchett
Toes, Realizing, Granted

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