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Terry Pratchett Quotes - Page 9

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Most of my schooldays were the worst day of my life.

Most of my schooldays were the worst day of my life.

Terry Pratchett
Worst, Worst Day
Source: www.karsmakers.nl

Vimes had got around to a Clean Desk policy. It was a Clean Floor strategy that eluded him at the moment.

Terry Pratchett
Clean Desk, Moments, Strategy

Seeing things a human shouldn't have to see makes us human.

Terry Pratchett
Humans, Seeing
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Thief Of Time: (Discworld Novel 26)”, p.333, Random House

Mind you, the Elizabethans had so many words for the female genitals that it is quite hard to speak a sentence of modern English without inadvertently mentioning at least three of them.

Terry Pratchett
Mind, Female, Three

And these are your reasons, my lord?" "Do you think I have others?" said Lord Vetinari. "My motives, as ever, are entirely transparent." Hughnon reflected that 'entirely transparent' meant either that you could see right through them or that you couldn't see them at all.

Terry Pratchett
Thinking, Reason, Lord
Terry Pratchett (2008). “The Truth: (Discworld Novel 25)”, p.48, Random House

And the people next door oppress me all night long. I tell them, I work all day, a man's got to have some time to learn to play the tuba. That's oppression, that is. If I'm not under the heel of the oppressor, I don't know who is.

Terry Pratchett
Night, Men, Doors
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Guards! Guards!: (Discworld Novel 8)”, p.11, Random House

It's amazing how fast gold works.

Terry Pratchett
Gold

This man was so absent-mindedly clever that he could paint pictures that didn’t just follow you around the room but went home with you and did the washing-up.

Terry Pratchett
Clever, Home, Men
Terry Pratchett (2016). “The Last Hero”, p.37, Hachette UK

The truth isn't easily pinned to a page. In the bathtub of history the truth is harder to hold than the soap and much more difficult to find.

Terry Pratchett
Pages, Soap, Truth Is
FaceBook post by Terry Pratchett from Feb 22, 2017

"Multiple exclamation marks," he went on, shaking his head, "are a sure sign of a diseased mind."

Terry Pratchett
Exclamation Marks, Mind, Discworld
"Eric" by Terry Pratchett, Harper, (p. 153), February 2002.

If you get the characters right you've done sometimes nearly half the work. I sometimes find I get the characters right then the characters will often help me write the book - not what they look like that's not very important - what people look like is not about their character. You have to describe the shape they leave in the world, how they react to things, what effect they have on people and you do that by telling their story.

Terry Pratchett
Book, Writing, Character

The gods of the Disc have never bothered much about judging the souls of the dead, and so people only go to hell if that's where they believe, in their deepest heart, that they deserve to go. Which they won't do if they don't know about it. This explains why it is so important to shoot missionaries on sight.

Terry Pratchett
Believe, Heart, Sight
"Eric: A Novel of Discworld". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1990.

We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything.

Terry Pratchett
Death, Thinking, Laughing
Terry Pratchett (2002). “Night watch”, Doubleday UK

Rings try to find their way back to their owner. Someone ought to write a book about it.

Terry Pratchett
Book, Writing, Trying

An ancient proverb summed it up when a wizard is tired of looking for broken glass in his dinner, it ran, he is tired of life.

Terry Pratchett
Tired, Glasses, Broken
Terry Pratchett (2009). “The Light Fantastic: (Discworld Novel 2)”, p.33, Random House

We sleepwalk through our lives, because how could we live if we were always this awake?

Terry Pratchett
Awake, Our Lives, Ifs

Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care.

Terry Pratchett
Humor, Fabric, Goes On

Do you think there’s anything to eat in this forest?” “Yes,” said the wizard bitterly, “us.

Terry Pratchett
Thinking, Wizards, Forests
Terry Pratchett (2012). “The Wit and Wisdom of Discworld”, p.11, Harper Collins

If words had weight, a single sentence from Death would have anchored a ship.

Terry Pratchett
Weight, Ships, Sentences
Terry Pratchett (2008). “The Colour Of Magic: (Discworld Novel 1)”, p.107, Random House

The stories never said why she was wicked. It was enough to be an old woman, enough to be all alone, enough to look strange because you have no teeth. It was enough to be called a witch. If it came to that, the book never gave you the evidence of anything. It talked about "a handsome prince"... was he really, or was it just because he was a prince that people called handsome? As for "a girl who was as beautiful as the day was long"... well, which day? In midwinter it hardly ever got light! The stories don't want you to think, they just wanted you to believe what you were told.

Terry Pratchett
Beautiful, Girl, Book
"The Wee Free Men". Book by Terry Pratchett, 2003.

My advice is this. For Christ's sake, don't write a book that is suitable for a kid of 12 years old, because the kids who read who are 12 years old are reading books for adults. I read all of the James Bond books when I was about 11, which was approximately the right time to read James Bond books.

Terry Pratchett
Book, Reading, Writing
"Terry Pratchett: 'If I'd known what a progressive brain disease could do for your PR profile I may have had one earlier'". Interview with Deborah Orr, www.independent.co.uk. November 29, 2008.

Things that try to look like things often do look more like things than things.

Terry Pratchett
Trying, Looks
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Wyrd Sisters: (Discworld Novel 6)”, p.43, Random House

A witch ought never to be frightened in the darkest forest ... because she should be sure in her soul that the most terrifying thing in the forest was her.

Terry Pratchett
Soul, Forests, Witch

Jeremy tried to be an interesting person. The trouble was that he was the kind of person who, having decided to be an interesting person, would first of all try to find a book called How to Be An Interesting Person and then see whether there were any courses available.

Terry Pratchett
Book, Interesting, Trying
"Thief of Time". Book by Terry Pratchett, 2001.

There is no doubt that being human is incredibly difficult and cannot be mastered in one lifetime.

Terry Pratchett
Doubt, Lifetime, Being Human
"Thief of Time". Book by Terry Pratchett, 2001.

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