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Terry Pratchett Quotes - Page 11

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Most armies are in fact run by their sergeants - the officers are there just to give things a bit of tone and prevent warfare becoming a mere lower-class brawl.

Most armies are in fact run by their sergeants - the officers are there just to give things a bit of tone and prevent warfare becoming a mere lower-class brawl.

Terry Pratchett
Running, Army, Class
Terry Pratchett (2009). “The Carpet People”, p.148, Random House

The Yen Buddhists are the richest religious sect in the universe. They hold that the accumulation of money is a great evil and a burden to the soul. They therefore, regardless of personal hazard, see it as their unpleasant duty to acquire as much as possible in order to reduce the risk to innocent people.

Terry Pratchett
Religious, Buddhist, Order
Terry Pratchett (2010). “Witches Abroad: (Discworld Novel 12)”, p.136, Random House

Ninety percent of most magic merely consists of knowing one extra fact.

Terry Pratchett
Knowing, Magic, Facts

Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken.

Terry Pratchett
Differences, Erotic, Kinky
Terry Pratchett (2009). “Eric: A Novel of Discworld”, p.4, Harper Collins

It was raining in the small, mountainous country of Llamedos. It was always raining in Llamedos. Rain was the country's main export. It had rain mines.

Terry Pratchett
Country, Rain, Mines
Terry Pratchett (2009). “Soul Music: (Discworld Novel 16)”, p.16, Random House

If you are going to write, say, fantasy - stop reading fantasy. You've already read too much. Read other things; read westerns, read history, read anything that seems interesting, because if you only read fantasy and then you start to write fantasy, all you're going to do is recycle the same old stuff and move it around a bit.

Terry Pratchett
Moving, Reading, Writing

Five exclamation marks: the sure sign of an insane mind.

Terry Pratchett
Humorous, Exclamation Points, Exclamation Marks
"The Wit And Wisdom Of Terry Pratchett", www.esquire.com. December 3, 2015.

I really wish that peoplewould just say, 'Yes, it's a comic. Yes, this is fantasy. Yes, this is Science Fiction,' and defend the genre instead of saying, 'Horror is a bit passe so this is Dark Fantasy,' and that' s playing someone else's game. So that's why I say I'm a fantasy writer and to hell with 'It doesn't read like what I think of as a fantasy'. In that case what you think of as a fantasy is not a fantasy. Or there is more to it than you think.

Terry Pratchett
Dark, Thinking, Games
Source: bobneilson.org

The thing about witchcraft," said Mistress Weatherwax, "is that it's not like school at all. First you get the test, and then afterward you spend years findin' out how you passed it. It's a bit like life in that respect

Terry Pratchett
School, Years, Mistress
"The Wee Free Men". Book by Terry Pratchett, 2003.

When people say things are a lot more complicated than that, they means they're getting worried that they won't like the truth.

Terry Pratchett
Mean, People, Complicated
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Carpe Jugulum: (Discworld Novel 23)”, p.314, Random House

Fantasy doesn't have to be fantastic. American writers in particular find this much harder to grasp. You need to have your feet on the ground as much as your head in the clouds. The cute dragon that sits on your shoulder also craps all down your back, but this makes it more interesting because it gives it an added dimension.

Terry Pratchett
Cute, Writing, Clouds

I was merely endeavoring to indicate that if we do not grab events by the collar they will have us by the throat. -Lord Vetinari

Terry Pratchett
Events, Lord, Vetinari

Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man; he had the Vote.

Terry Pratchett
Men, Democracy, Ankh
Terry Pratchett (2012). “The Wit and Wisdom of Discworld”, p.38, Harper Collins

HOROSCOPE: Today is a good time for making new friends. A good deed may have unforeseen consequences. Don’t upset any druids. You will soon be going on a very strange journey. Your lucky food is small cucumbers. People pointing knives at you are probably up to no good. PS, we really mean it about the druids.

Terry Pratchett
Mean, Journey, Knives
Stephen Briggs, Terry Pratchett (2015). “All the Discworld's a Stage”, p.111, Oberon Books

Noble dragons don't have friends. The nearest they can get to the idea is an enemy who is still alive.

Terry Pratchett
Dragons, Ideas, Enemy
"Guards! Guards!". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1989.

Death was standing behind a lectern, poring over a map. He looked at Mort as if he wasn’t entirely there. You haven't heard of the bayof mante, have you? He said. “No, sir,” said Mort. Famous shipwreck there. “Was there?” there will be, said Death, if I can find the damn place.

Terry Pratchett
Maps, Said, Behinds
"Mort". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1987.

What did I tell you about Mister Safety Catch?' said Vimes weakly. When Mister Safety Catch Is Not On, Mister Crossbow Is Not Your Friend,' recited Detritus, saluting.

Terry Pratchett
Safety, Said, Crossbows
Terry Pratchett (2002). “Night watch”, Doubleday UK

I staggered into a Manchester bar late one night on a tour and the waitress said "You look as if you need a Screaming Orgasm". At the time this was the last thing on my mind.

Terry Pratchett
Night, Mind, Needs

Letitia! What a name. Halfway between a salad and a sneeze.

Terry Pratchett
Names, Salad, Halfway

It is a popular fact that nine-tenths of the brain is not used and, like most popular facts, it is wrong. Not even the most stupid Creator would go to the trouble of making the human head carry around several pounds of unnecessary gray goo if its only real purpose was, for example, to serve as a delicacy for certain remote tribesmen in unexplored valleys.

Terry Pratchett
Stupid, Real, Brain
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Small Gods: (Discworld Novel 13)”, p.91, Random House

The power of prayer and faith can heal and bring happiness. The real tragedy is that the people that are helped by this don't realize that this power is really coming from within.

Terry Pratchett
Prayer, Real, People

Neither of my parents went to church, but they did everything that you needed to do to be Christian. That's something a Quaker would call an intimation of the divine.

Terry Pratchett
Christian, Parent, Church

Grinning like a necrophiliac in a morgue.

Terry Pratchett
Grinning, Morgues, Simile
"The Light Fantastic (Discworld, Book 2)". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1986.

She heard him mutter, 'Can you take away this grief?' 'I'm sorry,' she replied. 'Everyone asks me. And I would not do so even if I knew how. It belongs to you. Only time and tears take away grief; that is what they are for.

Terry Pratchett
Sorry, Grief, Bereavement

Omens are everywhere in this world you just have to find the one that fits.

Terry Pratchett
World, Fit, This World

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