Funny Inspirational Quotes - Page 5

All good things come to those who wait.

Word of mouth is the best medium of all.

The history of the world is the history of a few men who had faith in themselves

I'm glad I don't play anymore. I could never learn all those handshakes.

The basis of optimism is sheer terror.

When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened

Teenage girls, please don’t worry about being super popular in high school, or being the best actress in high school, or the best athlete. Not only do people not care about any of that the second you graduate, but when you get older, if you reference your successes in high school too much, it actually makes you look kind of pitiful, like some babbling old Tennessee Williams character with nothing else going on in her current life. What I’ve noticed is that almost no one who was a big star in high school is also big star later in life. For us overlooked kids, it’s so wonderfully fair.

I’m glad we had the times together just to laugh and sing a song, seems like we just got started and then before you know it, the times we had together were gone.

Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves.

Our favorite holding period is forever.

Those who believe they can do something and those who believe they can't are both right.

Make [food] simple and let things taste of what they are.

I'm a big health-food freak and a vegetarian devotee.

When everyone thinks alike, no one thinks very much.

I guess good things come to those who wait.

If you are afraid of being lonely, don't try to be right.

I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.

A mother is the best friend God ever gave.

Software sucks because users demand it to.

[Hope is] the dream of a waking man.

There is really a je ne sais quoi about turkey cooking - the air of festivity, the family squabbles, the constant basting - that does not apply to the turkey breast, which is, really, a convenience of food... A turkey without seasonal angst is like a baseball game without a national anthem, a winter without snow, a birthday party without candles.

While I was drying off Maddie after her bath tonight, she said, 'I love you' to me for the first time. It sounded like 'All lub boo,' but I didn't care. To reciprocate, I showed her what an ex-Marine looks like when he cries.

In this business, by the time you realize you're in trouble, it's too late to save yourself. Unless you're running scared all the time, you're gone.

High-tech tomatoes. Mysterious milk. Supersquash. Are we supposed to eat this stuff? Or is it going to eat us?

I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.