Funny Inspirational Quotes - Page 6

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

If you have formed the habit of checking on every new diet that comes along, you will find that, mercifully, they all blur together, leaving you with only one definite piece of information: french-fried potatoes are out.

People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's under water. But it's certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool.

The more pity, that fools may not speak wisely what wise men do foolishly.

Killing animals for sport, for pleasure, for adventure, and for hides and furs is a phenomena which is at once disgusting and distressing. There is no justification in indulging is such acts of brutality.

Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.

I'm not a driven businessman, but a driven artist. I never think about money. Beautiful things make money.

It must be around forty, when you're "over the hill." I don't even know what that means and why it's a bad thing. When I go hiking and I get over the hill, that means I'm past the hard part and there's a snack in my future. That's a good thing as far as I'm concerned.

I expect Woman will be the last thing civilized by Man.

Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.

It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it; it's even harder when you've assumed your code is error-free.

How can I have morning sickness when I don't get up till noon?

Even I don't know what you're doing, and I know everything.

The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.

I've been vegan for about 10 and a half years. It's been all good. I'm obviously much healthier

Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.

A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark.

If I were invited to a dinner party with my characters, I wouldn't show up.

I will not retire while I've still got my legs and my make-up box.

You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.

Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

There's a little truth in all jive, and a little jive in all truth.

Given a choice of weapons with you sir, I should choose grammar.

The average age (longevity) of a meat eater is 63. I am on the verge of 85 and still work as hard as ever. I have lived quite long enough and am trying to die; but I simply cannot do it. A single beef-steak would finish me; but I cannot bring myself to swallow it. I am oppressed with a dread of living forever. That is the only disadvantage of vegetarianism.