Funny Inspirational Quotes - Page 7

Stop worrying, nobody gets out of this world alive.

I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?

They are sick that surfeit with too much, as they that starve with nothing.

Nothing recedes like success.

It was not so very long ago that people thought that semiconductors were part-time orchestra leaders and microchips were very small snack foods.

Poor empty pants With nobody inside them.

According to the group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, fish have feelings too. Whenever my sons go fishing they always tell me, "Dad it doesn't hurt a fish to get hooked." Well I watch and I see and I believe it's painful for the fish.

A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke-and that the joke is oneself.

The great thing about taking big chances when you're younger is you have less to lose, and you don't know as much. So you take big swings.

I'm stopped. I'll never eat another burger.

The full area of ignorance is not mapped. We are at present only exploring the fringes.

I used to believe my father about everything but then I had children myself & now I see how much stuff you make up just to keep yourself from going crazy.

I've always dreamed of growing up to be Amy Poehler.

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second.

Lotto fever hit New York again this week, and like the old saying goes, 'You gotta be in it to win it'... but first, you gotta have a dead end job so pathetic you're willing to kill five hours standing in line for a 1 in 25 million chance.

People will buy anything that is one to a customer.

I’m not going to die because I failed as someone else. I’m going to succeed as myself.

You should just dump the whole saving the world plan and go with global domination. It's probably be more fun.

I ain't sleeping. I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids.

You know what they say when a supermodel gets pregnant? Now she's eating for one.

Among the most striking things that I have learned is how much we have in common. I've sat down with people everywhere, discussing what was in their hearts and on their minds. And it doesn't take long to find commonality, which is often overlooked, ignored, dismissed, and rejected otherwise.

Women tend to be problem solvers. We work together.

He has a heart of gold - only harder.