Humorous Quotes - Page 52

Thanks to the acuteness of his mind, he saw through the poverty of philosophical and Gnostic knowledge, and contemptuously rejected it.

Asking politicians to give up a source of money is like asking Dracula to forsake blood.

Every single bit of entertainment is escapism. It's because you are saying, "Let's see what this other person's life is like." And also it's beyond escapism, its entertainment and art as such can elevate the species. The entertainer supposedly is the muse. They're the ones who tell you what is wrong with society in a humorous way. They're the ones who do an expose about this or a documentary about that about the injustice of this. So it can be a very powerful medium.

Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.

English clubs are very exclusive. I played Royal Foxshire and they made me wear a suit and tie. . . in the shower.

She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn't understand us at all.

The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn't got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.

I've always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It's an island and the audience can't run very far.

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water.

Don't call me when you're stuck in traffic. It's not my fault that radio sucks and did it ever occur to you that there wouldn't be so much traffic if people like you put down the phone and concentrated on the road... besides I can't talk now, I'm in the car behind you trying to watch a DVD.

The essence of success is that it is never necessary to think of a new idea oneself. It is far better to wait until somebody else does it, and then to copy him in every detail, except his mistakes.

""Dear girl," continued Bob advancing with an imbecile grin upon his countenance, which he imagined no doubt to be a seductive smile, "fly with me! Be mine! Share with me the wild free life of a barrister! Say that you return the love which consumes my heart - oh, say it!" Here Bob put his hand over a hole in his waistcoat and struck a dramatic attitude.

If there is not laughter in intimacy, it becomes heavy, burdensome, and dull. At my best moments, the love dialogue I try to carry on with You each day is comic-what could be more comic than a human addressing the Ground of Being as an intimate? It's a kind of blasphemy that I dare because you have called for it, and that is pretty humorous, too.

I occasionally get birthday cards from fans. But it's often the same message: They hope it's my last.

Oh no, the dead have risen and they're voting Republican.

I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.

Notes for a ballet, The Spell: ... Suddenly Sigmund hears the flutter of wings, and a group of wild swans flies across the moon ... Sigmund is astounded to see that their leader is part swan and part woman - unfortunately, divided lengthwise. She enchants Sigmund, who is careful not to make any poultry jokes.

Atlee is a very modest man. And with reason.

If America cannot win a war in a week, it begins negotiating with itself.

Life is too transcendentally humorous for a man not to take it seriously. Compared with it, Death is but a shallow jest.

constituted a critical lapse in judgement and a personal failure on my part for which I am solely responsable

When you get asked hundreds of questions, it's not possible to remember the answer to every one.

The last time I checked, the Constitution said, 'of the people, by the people and for the people.' That's what the Declaration of Independence says.

I'm sure I spent more time in Texas than anybody else who had run for President recently.

[They let] friendship with the leaders in China obscure our devotion to freedom and democracy when those kids set up in Tiananmen Square, and I think it was wrong.