Our first stop was red square, the heart of Moscow - if Moscow has one.
And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them. We didn't know that in America after the war, you wouldn't be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
I don't bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard ... I sell.
The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.
After the 1984 Summer Olympics, Reagan wanted to add the U.S. volleyball team to his Cabinet. He figured if they can't shove his programs down Congress' throat, nobody can.
There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear's huge jaws. I wouldn't even try that with my agent.
Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent's handshake.
If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.
Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.
Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn't be surprised if their wrestling was on the level.
