I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything.
A sports bar is a way to take a bar and fill it with even more annoying people than usual.
I like playing frisbee. It is the only sport where you can throw something at a person and it's okay.
Skiing is my favorite sport, because, that's the only sport that is actually better to watch the worst the person is at it. "That guy won a gold medal in the Olympics" "Oh yeah, that's cool, i wanna watch the fat guy" "Come on dude, you can take that hill"
Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I'm swimming, sometimes I'm not sure which one it is.
The question is, 'how bad at sports were you as a kid?' I grew up near where they film Jersey Shore. If you weren't tan, muscular, and book-averse, you were a dork and a nerd and a geek and stuff. I remember being into Gary Larsen, Stephen Wright, Peter Sellers.
To look like you are a real sports fan, when there is a game on TV just yell, Oh, come on! every now and then at the TV.
