Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.
The best way to spoil a good story is by sticking to the facts.
There's only one thing worse than to live without working, and that is to work without living.
This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand.
The trouble with dieting is that a pound of will power takes off only an ounce of weight.
Conscience gets a lot of credit that really belongs to cowardice.
The lazy man claims he is too heavy for light work and too light for heavy work.
The reason why men who mind their own business succeed is that they have so little competition.
Ego: The only thing that can keep growing without nourishment.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.
Some couples divorce because of a misunderstandin g; others, because they understand each other too well.
Common sense is usually lack of imagination, and imagination is usually lack of common sense.
All men are born equal, but some of them outgrow it.
A bacteriologist is a man whose conversation always start with the germ of an idea.
Worry makes people thin, except when they worry about being fat.
A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.
You can always make a loan at a bank if you can show sufficient evidence that you don't need it.
All things come to him who waits, but they are mostly leftovers from those who didn't wait.
When laziness attacks a woman, it always avoids her tongue.
Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games.
The difference between us and other people is that their money looks bigger and their troubles smaller.
Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.
Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
The disadvantage of becoming wise is that you realize how foolish you've been.
A dictator's chief problem is keeping the stomachs of his subjects full while keeping their heads empty.
