Matt Groening Quotes - Page 2

I plead alignment to the flakes of the untitled snakes of a merry cow and to the republicrats for which they scam: one nacho, underpants with licorice and jugs of wine for owls.

I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

It's just hard not to listen to TV: it's spent so much more time raising us than parents have.

I may be biting off more than I can chew, but with 'The Simpsons' and with 'Futurama,' what I'm trying to do in the guise of light entertainment, if this is possible - is nudge people, jostle them a little, wake them up to some of the ways in which we're being manipulated and exploited.

When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.

First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life's problems.

One of the great things about the Internet is that you can read what everybody has to say about everything. It is fascinating to me, the critiques about humor by people who have no sense of humor.

Are we alone in an uncaring universe, or is God some kind of wiseguy?

Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.

Of course I’ve gone mad with power! Have you ever tried going mad without power? It’s boring and no one listens to you! — Russ Cargill

Homer no function beer well without.

A woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

If I have one technology tip of the day, it's this: No matter how good the video on YouTube is, don't read the comments, just don't, because it will make you hate all humans.

This doesn't happen in America! Maybe Ohio, but not in America!" Homer Simpson

I didn't lie, I was writing fiction with my mouth.

Actually, I've been working on a plan. During the exam, I'll hide under some coats, and hope that somehow everything will work out.

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.

When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces...I just know they're about to jab me with something.

I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me.

American culture has a lot of great moustaches in its history. Mark Twain had a great moustache, Charlie Chaplin, Ben Turpin ... but Zappa, he's got the best moustache in American history. Got the moustache, right, and he's got that little thing on his chin, I think it's called an imperial, that is, like, the coolest thing. That's like one of the great icons of the twentieth century.

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

I'm a writer who just happens to draw.

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?